I can't watch Oprah.
Where on earth does she get those women in the audience from? They all look like Stepford mommies, and their upturned faces with eyes of adoration-- do me in. All Oprah has to say is "girlfriend" and they roar as if it were the funniest word on the planet.
They look like mascaraed toadies and sound like fools. I've never even noticed an audience before, but on the Oprah show the audience stands out like a manicured thumb nail.
Those chuckleheaded chicks in the audience look like they'll swoon from the rapture of looking at Oprah's favorite things or reading one of Oprah's favorite books. Can't they chose a book of their own? Can't they have their own favorite things or do they need Oprah to tell them what to like or what to read?
They look like they've been bused to the show directly after a spa makeover and a frontal lobotomy. Not a single woman has a hair out of place or is missing lipstick. Not a single fleck of mascara on a single cheek, everyone dewy skinned, dewy eyed and in an addle-brained fog.
Every single one of them religiously devoted to Oprah as if she were the second coming.
It must take more than a ticket to get into the Oprah show.
Where on earth does she get those women in the audience from? They all look like Stepford mommies, and their upturned faces with eyes of adoration-- do me in. All Oprah has to say is "girlfriend" and they roar as if it were the funniest word on the planet.
They look like mascaraed toadies and sound like fools. I've never even noticed an audience before, but on the Oprah show the audience stands out like a manicured thumb nail.
Those chuckleheaded chicks in the audience look like they'll swoon from the rapture of looking at Oprah's favorite things or reading one of Oprah's favorite books. Can't they chose a book of their own? Can't they have their own favorite things or do they need Oprah to tell them what to like or what to read?
They look like they've been bused to the show directly after a spa makeover and a frontal lobotomy. Not a single woman has a hair out of place or is missing lipstick. Not a single fleck of mascara on a single cheek, everyone dewy skinned, dewy eyed and in an addle-brained fog.
Every single one of them religiously devoted to Oprah as if she were the second coming.
It must take more than a ticket to get into the Oprah show.
posted by mary bishop | 5:56 PM
14 Comments:
Shame! And Oprah's audience always speaks so highly of you.
Yes, I'm the same anonymous from before so you don't have to ask.
I like Oprah well enough -- as a person/actress. She was wonderful in The Color Purple. And she seems to have won the Battle of the Bulge with the aid of expensive personal trainers and will power. She made that nauseus Dr. Phil what he is, which is essentially nothing! So why the adoring fans? C E L E B R I T Y. People flock to celebrities, have since time bagan. It makes them feel like a celebrity too, I suppose. I guess I'd take Oprah over "Jeree, Jeree" or Howard Stern (both pathetically pitiful as are their audience and participants) any day, but as it is, I don't watch Oprah's show either.
Hi elaine, I agree that celebrities engender lots of passionate adoration, but don't you think the Oprah people are way over the top?
They don't look like real people - they look like they were created out of plasticene, propped up in seats and their animation button pushed in by unseen hands.
I do agree that there is only one audience I can think of that's worse, and thats the Jeree Jeree audience...I try to avoid that show but when surfing channels I come upon it from time to time and even the few seconds it takes to change the channel is too much Jerry Springer for me.
Hey Girlfriends! Hey! Hoa! Oprah's in the house!
Toadies for sure. The audience looks like that b/c they're expecting their new car or load of gifts. Who says money can't buy you love??
I agree w/elaine - pitiful. I read somewhere (so it must be true) that the most unhappy suicidal group of women were Oprah viewers. Is that b/c we all can't be rich as Croesus and filled with self-help success stories? Oh, Oprah, you self-righteous so and so. Are you out there just to make us feel like failed versions of ourselves that can only become fully self-actualized (used that word twice today) by watching your show, buying your magazine, shopping your Oprah approved lists and reading your a-okay Oprah rated reading material?
I think she's the devil. Bwahahahahahaha Bwahhhhhahaaa......
So, laurenbove, what you're saying is you don't care for Oprah? hahahahah
I could take Oprah better than her half-witted studio audience, but I certainly don't see what she has that made her a billionaire. Exactly what about her makes her worth that much money?
Unless it is the legions of half-witted, starry-eyed, arse-kissing, "girlfriends" that are coughing up the dough.
Maybe someone should tell them you don't get a free O in an issue of O magazine!
I also don't like the Oprha show because she seems very self-satisfied and she gives away lots of gifts to the audience to make them like her.
Do you see that commercial in your area on tv that shows a seductive woman saying "It's all about the O." I don't think they mean Oprah. I am not so sure they mean overstock dot com, either!
I better go lie down now.
Yeah Elaine, what's with that chick trying to sell women on the overstock dot com website? Is *she* gonna give us the'o'? I would go there if they had enrique iglesias saying that to the camera without his shirt on. Hubba hubba.
Laurenbove, why not a commercial telling us "It's all about the P?"
Paul Newman? Alright! But the P has a lot of other possibilities! Just let your mind wander!
Oh Yeah! The wonder of the "P." I'd like to hear/see lots more on that. Have you seen the plaster "p" casts of famous rock stars? These groupie chicks (Cynthia and friends)started the whole thing in the seventies. Cool. BTW: It really isn't about size although it helps. Check it out: http://www.cynthiaplastercaster.com/flash/home.html
All I know is that in the middle of the night I would prefer no O and no P but just ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Hilarious, Laurenbove! I'm speechless laughing!
Only in this country can you find women plucky enough to have a plaster cast of Jimmy Henrix's "P"
Gotta love it.
MB: These days, I agree that a good nights "z" and a good morning's "B.M" is really all I need.
Having said that: I think I should get some Yam cream or something.
Hey it's Doc Nos! Everyone should visit his blog...
True, about being wary of the cult members, they could capture me, fix my hair, dilate my pupils and wrap a scarf around my neck and plop me in the audience after plying me with oxycodones...isn't that the snack of choice among young, affluent matrons?
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