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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Club Med for Slugs


Echrai’s reply on my ant post got me thinking about the year I turned my strawberry garden into a Club Med for slugs.

The slugs were eating my strawberries. They’d gnaw a hole and suck out the juices and let the rest of the strawberry rot.

Strawberries are hard to grow and wonderful on your cereal especially because you have to plod out to get them on an early summer morning - still sleepy-eyed and coiffed in bed-head extraordinaire. Early morning strawberries are warm and dewy and all you have to do is swipe them under the faucet for a couple of seconds and then slice them up for breakfast, that is if you don’t just eat them all right over the sink with the water still running.

Unlike the store varieties (that look like real strawberries only much huger and redder), these smaller pinker versions packed flavor. Let’s see a show of hands, who remembers when strawberries actually had flavor??

Okay back to the slug story.

So the slugs had invaded the strawberry garden and I read, like Echrai suggested, that if you put out a bowl of beer (which I hate to part with because I adore beer) the slugs will come and drown in the beer and leave your strawberries alone.

May I say this is not so. It might be so if you choose a bowl with high slippery sides, but I chose a soup bowl with low sloping sides. Big mistake.

When I timidly peeked at the bowl to see how many dead slugs and more important, how many strawberry’s lives saved – I was stunned.

A bunch of drunk slugs were leaning up on the side of the bowl as if they were chilling in a hot tub filled with beer. They were happy, healthy, drunk and slightly pink where the strawberry juices had stained their lovely see-through gray bodies.

I was out a Stella Artois (all I had at the time) my strawberries were decimated and the happy inebriated slugs were going to give me a good neighbor award.

Nothing like a hearty meal of strawberries topped off with a couple of pints of good beer and a nice place to rest and chat with your friends.

(This post dedicated to Echrai for her beer idea and Spurious Plum for being blogger’s resident expert on fruits.)

16 Comments:

Blogger Irina Tsukerman said...

This is hilarious!

My advice: grow a special patch of strawberries just for the slugs. Put beer in there. Live the other patch alone. I bet the slugs will ignore the patch with no beer for the patch with beer. They get the beer, and you still get your strawberries. Everyone's satisfied! ; )

2:44 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Not a bad idea...lure them to one strawberry bed with a promise of beer and fun in the sun, then have a hidden non-drinking area where the real strawberries could grow and flourish!

2:58 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

You're both on to something here... How about a wee slug hot tub with some sexy she-slugs while we're at it? We could pipe in some calypso music and see what happens? I think you'd get more than slugs at your special strawberry patch.

3:40 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

I know that marine slugs have a bad rep..their name? NUDIBRANCHS

I guess the slugs in my yard are Nudi-b-ranchers - naked slugs that want to homestead in my yard.

Miss LB --If in my strawberry patch, I pipe in calypso music and lug in a case of beer -- I'll just stay there all DAY-O.

4:13 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Haaaaa! Very funny. You caught me off guard, but it was exactly what I was thinking, man.

4:55 PM  
Blogger Spurious Nurse said...

Hooray! Fruit post!

Strawberries and beer?

You're making me wish I was a slug...

4:59 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Welcome Kitsune -- so far no box turtles!

Irina's picture reminds me...if we can have dung beetles, why couldn't we have slug beetles? The slug beetles could roll up all the slugs into little balls and then frost them in dung for all I care, as long as they went away.

7:26 AM  
Blogger Echrai said...

*wipes tears from her eyes* I don't know what was funnier. The post or the comments. I can just see the little slug waiters - another strawberry daquiri sir? They need tiny striped beach towels. Definitely.

8:14 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Glad I made you laugh echrai...See how my twisted mind works? You make a comment about putting out a bowl of beer to attract ants and from there we end up with Club Slug.

I wonder if even slugs care to plug another slug?

8:18 AM  
Blogger Susie said...

You can't make a beer-and-strawberries community just for the slugs. One thing leads to another. Before you know it, you'll have a bunch of alcoholic, unemployed overweight slugs demanding that you build a slug rehab, a fitness center...THINK carefully be you endeavor to host such a planned slug community.

10:46 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Oh no, a slug planned community - just the thought makes my skin crawl.

Slug fitness centers! Little tiny treadmills all slimed up, little tiny towels and personal slug trainers...egads!

11:19 AM  
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