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Friday, April 08, 2005

White Anuses and Withered Testicles

I don’t have either.

Someone actually came to my blog after searching for” white anuses”.

I am not sure if I should feel proud or perturbed. I had forgotten I had ever used the word anuses in a post and I’m pretty sure I never waxed eloquent on white anuses.

Actually, my searching friend has peaked my interest. Why would he or she be looking up white anuses? Is it a symptom of a disease or a new trend in body modification? Do albinos have white anuses? Does Michael Jackson have one?

As you can see, I will probably appear on someone else’s blog “search-list” in the future, as I conduct my own internet research on white anuses.

Anyone with information please feel free to educate me or sohelpmerhonda I will conduct a search in the near future.

-----


I didn’t have to search the net to find out about withered testicles. There it was in my morning paper as I sipped my coffee. One of the signs of a male taking anabolic steroids is, in fact --withered testicles.

Why would any guy ever entertain the idea of taking steroids if he ends up with crinkly little dried up sacks? I don’t care how hot a guy might look on the beach or in the gym with his rippling abs and mountainous biceps if hidden in the jock are two deflated baggies without the zip.

Side effects like paranoia, rage, extreme and quick muscle development – I could see a guy taking the risk. But itty bitty little dry and empty pouches sticking to his thighs? – oh no…

Apparently most men have not heard about that side effect.

And if they have heard about that side effect and continue to take steroids, then they have a lot of balls…or should I say, had a lot of balls.

62 Comments:

Blogger paintergirl said...

Now I have to say "EWWWWWWWWW". You and Laurenbove have some very disturbing and yet real posts today.

2:38 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

haha! I laughed too mb. We're so on the same wavelength. Maybe someone went to my prison blog and then looked a few things up and then carried on to visit you.

PG: sometimes you gotta keep it real, ya know? I've got to thank Oprah and her titilating show yesterday for my interest. MB? what's up w/you??

2:43 PM  
Blogger Susie said...

OK, I've got it. White anuses, that's just wrong. Here's what is is: Whitean uses.
"In Whitean terms, culture is viewed as an extrasomatic means of adaptation that is organized as a system. Further, change is seen as a “bottom-up” process where environmental stimuli produce shifts in the technological-economic subsystem and direct or affect change in the other subsystems (being social and ideological)."
See what I'm sayin'? There may be some overlap with "white anuses" in the "bottom-up" part.

3:16 PM  
Blogger Irina Tsukerman said...

You and LB must have conspired! I don't know which post is better (or worse!)

3:28 PM  
Blogger paintergirl said...

Keepin it real-I hear ya sista!

3:35 PM  
Blogger Echrai said...

While laurenbove's post made me think and consider the life of a prisoner, yours just made me laugh. Hard. Thanks, honey. :)

9:35 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

HI Friends...I almost died when I went to LB's place and saw the subject of her post.

Susie-- whitean uses sounds better than you-know-what, but if you look up anal bleaching you can find a list of celebrities who supposedly are into this...um...fashion statement.

EWWWWWWW and EWWWWWWWWW again!

10:17 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Also, on a clear night, with the aid of mirrors, you can see Uranus.

12:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ick and double ick.

2:30 PM  
Blogger Susie said...

mb, I read your reply to my comment and I said, "Nooo waaaay." Then, to my eternal regret, I googled. I am so out of it. I go around feeling like I'm exceptionally well-groomed if my legs are clean-shaven at the same time I have no stray eye-brow hairs. Now the bar is set so much higher. I will never be mistaken for a "Brazilian" anywhere, and if that's not bad enough, now I highly suspect that my anus is the wrong shade for this Spring. Not that I could pick the shade of my anus off a color wheel. Or even identify it in a police line-up for that matter. I'll do a few things for vanity's seek, but I will not follow in pursuit of the Jacko Cracko. Will I ever come back in style again?

7:29 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Susie - your comment to my post was way funnier than my post! I love the police line-up line...you are one funny lady no matter what color your you-know-what is.

Who looks anyhow?

8:26 AM  
Blogger Jimmy K. said...

White Anuses was so funny I posted it on my blog. roflmao
http://butthatsjustmyopinion.blogspot.com/

12:52 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Welcome Jimmy K and I am glad you got a laugh out of this post...I was laughing when I was writing it.

Thanks for the plug on your site.

come visit again!

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NOTIFY A: Using Non-Traditional Lenders

Guide away from the conventional brick and mortar pecuniary institutions such as banks and honesty unions. They comprise tightened their credit standards and are not like to adaptable to to bad attribution borrowers unbroken if the borrower is a homeowner. Your win out over punt is to butt off the record lenders who entertain stepped in to stretch the void. These lenders all things considered effort online, or on the internet. Profuse folks have in the offing injurious honour scores; banks wishes not appropriate to them; clandestinely lenders will. There are plenteousness of them, but more on that later.

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