"At the end of the game the king and the pawn go back in the same box." -- Italian Proverb.


I'm dying to use this proverb some day.

Is there a proverb, punch line or comeback you're dying to say someday? Do you ever pre-plan conversations in your head when you know someone is going to go after you for some real or imagined slight?

I guess since the "Blindsided" incident, I am beefing up my verbal armory in preparation for the next attack.

Husband taught me a long time ago (sometimes I forget) that responding to an uncomfortable question or statement with a question is a good device.

For example: Why aren't you having any more kids? Answer: Why do you want to know?

Or

"You're very selfiish if you won't go to Aunt So and So's birthday party in Guam when she always thought so highly of you." Response: What would make you think it would be possible for me to travel to Guam for anyone's birthday party?

My mother used to say: Put the ball back in their court.

Verbal sparring is like a pingpong game. They lob something at you you send it back to them. Even a single Why? can cause people to stammer as the verbal attackers, usually, only like waging the attack and not fending one off.

Another favorite that is applied when you have had to attend a business meeting where someone lectures for hours about changes in policy or procedures -- yet you have no idea what it is they want you to do.

You say: As a result of this meeting, what is it you want me to do differently?

Then watch them squirm because most of the time, if you come away from a meeting in total confusion, it's because the presenters have not said anything concrete and when you ask them a concrete question they have great difficulty telling you what to do differently.

I've also had to practice, believe it or not, saying NO.

Yes, is my default response, and it's not a good one. It has caused me to bake more cupcakes than most of the mothers in CT. It's caused me to do door-to-door collecting for every disease known to mankind. I've ended up taking other people's children to dance classes, the dentist, work, school and even the mall. I've hosted most of the holiday parties for the family up until recently when after religiously practicing my noes, I managed to come out with a few.

If no is too hard for you to make your default response, "let me think about it" is also a good one. Then you can take a cold shower, smack yourself in the head a few times and call back the person and say No.

I wish I could take a class in how to handle bizarre requests; how to fend off the perpetual and artificial hurt feelings of some people and the nasty and snide comments that others seem to think are okay to say to someone who's just done you a favor and never asked for one in return.

I need to brush up on my noes --I need to take a refresher course in saying NO for the people who call asking for money too.

Any tips, ideas are welcome and I hope some of mine might help you in the future.

Of course, if you don't want to share tips or comebacks, feel free to say NO!

That's what I'm working on...the ability to free myself by swallowing my yesses and burping up noes in return.

GAWWRRPPPP!