Dear women of the Texas crazy-ass, polygamist compound....ahem...how do I tell you this?
That pompadour thing on your head is atrocious. It must stem from one especially sexy wife who had overly fluffy bangs or maybe it was copied from the beloved Cockatiel of your husband's 97th sister's uncle's grandfather.
I am purposely not commenting on your dresses. Fine if you like them. If they were white, they'd look like you copied the pope's frock, but you tend to muted colors...cool. I won't pick on your clothes, but I warn you, stay inside if you see a van that is lettered, What Not To Wear -- they will capture you and unwash your face and cut your hair and dress you in primary colors. Horrors!!
Seriously though, that hair roll to heaven that you have suspended against all odds on the top of your collective pates um -- that silly skull sculpture, those twisted tresses, --they really must go.
Yours truly.
Pompadourless in Connecticut
That pompadour thing on your head is atrocious. It must stem from one especially sexy wife who had overly fluffy bangs or maybe it was copied from the beloved Cockatiel of your husband's 97th sister's uncle's grandfather.
I am purposely not commenting on your dresses. Fine if you like them. If they were white, they'd look like you copied the pope's frock, but you tend to muted colors...cool. I won't pick on your clothes, but I warn you, stay inside if you see a van that is lettered, What Not To Wear -- they will capture you and unwash your face and cut your hair and dress you in primary colors. Horrors!!
Seriously though, that hair roll to heaven that you have suspended against all odds on the top of your collective pates um -- that silly skull sculpture, those twisted tresses, --they really must go.
Yours truly.
Pompadourless in Connecticut
posted by mary bishop | 10:33 PM
4 Comments:
You are SOOO bad Mary. :)
I guess they have to do SOMETHING with the hair that they are NEVER allowed to cut.
I can't IMAGINE the weight of all that hair - i'm surprised they don't have football necks from holding it all up. :)
or maybe it's an anti-re-education helmet - they are afraid that someone will try to unbrainwash them and the hair is a protective covering . . .
Personally, I think that hair is very sexy. I gotta get me one of them wimmen. Or two. Or, you know, eight.
Mary I applaud your noble effort to eradicate high-falutin hair, but what you need to understand about the Lone Star state is BIG HAIR IS king. Everything's bigger in Texas including the hair.
Hi kids!
Ilanna, I am so bad and I know it. How can people get so disconnected from the world, I just don't get it. Maybe if you look inside those pompadours you'll find mascara and lipstick!
Nilbo, it would probably take 2 or 6 or 8 women to handle you! Can you imagine having to satisfy all those women...oh I didn't mean that kind of satisfy.
Hänni - I have forgotten that Texas dos tend to expand upward and outward more than other states. If everything is bigger in Texas it leads me to ask an indelicate question: Are the men also sporting very large ahem weapons?
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