The mother-in-law gene
I believe that every woman born has a mother-in-law gene. Every infant baby girl is born with all the eggs she will ever have, but besides this biological truth, maybe even near the eggs, is the mother-in-law gene.
A female’s eggs reside in the ovaries and remain dormant until puberty.
The mother-in-law gene stays dormant in the female for years and years, through her teen years, through early marriage and child-bearing years and silently ticks away until her son is about to get serious with a woman. At this point the mother-in-law gene becomes active and stays active throughout the rest of her life.
One of the most unusual aspects of this gene is that it is not activated by female offspring. There is no correlating mother-in-law gene that is predisposed to disliking a daughter’s spouse. But, for a woman with male offspring, this gene starts to ripen on her son’s prom night and becomes fully functional at his wedding.
It is such a powerful gene it also reflects attitudes towards her grandchildren. The axiom being: no child birthed from her son’s wife’s loins will ever be as beloved as the children coming from her own daughter’s loins. As these children grow and develop, this inequality is often shown at gift-giving times where grandchildren from the daughter receive nicer presents than do grandchildren from her son.
Even though the woman, herself, may have had to suffer from the effects of the mother-in-law gene upon her own life, this does not stop the gene from developing until she too shows equal bias towards her son’s wife or son’s grandchildren.
No I am not a geneticist nor do I play one on TV. But I am sure that 90% of the married women alive would agree with me that this gene does exist and it’s only time before science will back up my claim.
I believe that every woman born has a mother-in-law gene. Every infant baby girl is born with all the eggs she will ever have, but besides this biological truth, maybe even near the eggs, is the mother-in-law gene.
A female’s eggs reside in the ovaries and remain dormant until puberty.
The mother-in-law gene stays dormant in the female for years and years, through her teen years, through early marriage and child-bearing years and silently ticks away until her son is about to get serious with a woman. At this point the mother-in-law gene becomes active and stays active throughout the rest of her life.
One of the most unusual aspects of this gene is that it is not activated by female offspring. There is no correlating mother-in-law gene that is predisposed to disliking a daughter’s spouse. But, for a woman with male offspring, this gene starts to ripen on her son’s prom night and becomes fully functional at his wedding.
It is such a powerful gene it also reflects attitudes towards her grandchildren. The axiom being: no child birthed from her son’s wife’s loins will ever be as beloved as the children coming from her own daughter’s loins. As these children grow and develop, this inequality is often shown at gift-giving times where grandchildren from the daughter receive nicer presents than do grandchildren from her son.
Even though the woman, herself, may have had to suffer from the effects of the mother-in-law gene upon her own life, this does not stop the gene from developing until she too shows equal bias towards her son’s wife or son’s grandchildren.
No I am not a geneticist nor do I play one on TV. But I am sure that 90% of the married women alive would agree with me that this gene does exist and it’s only time before science will back up my claim.
posted by mary bishop | 8:47 AM
11 Comments:
The scary thing is, I'd say you're probably right. But there are notable exceptions - my own grandmother who was really nice to my mom. However, in most cases it's true. One theory is loss of control - the mother feels she's giving up her son to the wife. I've actually heard someone come out and say it. Most of them aren't that open about it, though!
I don't have a son, but I do have a mother-in-law hahahahha - I dedicated today's entry to her.
She still resents me for taking her boy away. I want to convince her if she could be a bit nicer to me and my children, she'd get a lot more out of her "boy".
Hope she doesn't find this blog...well actually, it might do her some good to read what I wrote today!
Yeah, but then she'd probably be in denial...
I'm scared now MB! I know your post was comedic in nature but I've got two boys. I couldn't help going there in my mind and freaking out about how to stay close to my children and their children. If that woman keeps me from them, by golly.... (m.i.l. gene rearing it's ugly head)
I won't have a direct girl to girl link that is so easy and familiar in families. I've got to break into this new woman's heart, win her affection while not pissing off her own mother who will no doubt be territorial and jealous if I get too close to her daughter. A quandary! An unimaginable nightmare!
Am I doomed?
Laurenbove, you are not doomed. If you want my advice (I so wish I was an advice columnist!!!) I'd say don't take the mother roll with your sons' wives.
Become their friend -- that way there is no competition with their own mothers and you can win their hearts by being a wonderful, older friend to them.
That's what I'd do if I had a son. I would be his wife's best ally, never forget her birthday and make sure she was treated like a dear dear cherished member of the family - but I wouldn't try to mother her.
A friend who refuses to comment but does read my blog asked why I hadn't spoken of fathers-in-law, sisters-in-law or brothers-in-law...
So here's my theory: fathers-in-law have no anti son's wife gene. They can be torqued up by their own wife to dislike the daughter-in-law, but their basic nature, being men, is to like women..
Sisters-in-law will do fine with their brother's wife as long as their mother doesn't like her.
Brothers-in-law will be wary, after all, they have no blood connection the the woman and being too nice to their sister-in-law could be conceived of as flirting.
So they tend to show a subdued interest in said daughter-in-law, are friendly, peck a cheek if need be but keep their physical and emotional distance without prejudice.
Mother of 4 sons here, one married now. I regret not having a daughter but I love my one daughter-in-law as if she were my birth one. And what's even nicer is that her mother and I are very good friends. Good advice Mary, about being an older friend, but right off the bat, my daughter-in-law asked if she could call me Mom. That melted my heart. So I am her Mom-Friend.
Elaine, I've known you for years and you are so special, so warm and loving and smart and with-it...I know you'd be the perfect mother in law.
How dear that your daughter-in-law chose to call you Mom, that says a lot.
I'm laughing here looking at all the misspellings I have on my comments - obviously I rely too much on spell check which comments doesn't have...!!
Boy did you nail this on the head...My mother in law has two of those genes - she's the worst..so I will have to be anonmous!
And yet woman is born to be mother-in-law! It is just one of the many roles she is assigned. Most, I think, do resent the intrustion of "the other" into her realm; she built it--perhaps under cover--but it's hers, and yet here comes this outlaw to seduce and kidnap her property. It may be worse when the kidnapped child is a son, for then we have Freudian dimensions. But springs comes on, and we best not pursue this topic to its sordid depths.
Uncle Remus, thanks for stopping by. You say:
But spring comes on, and we best not pursue this topic to its sordid depths.
Hahahahahahah - oh my am I laughing hard....
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