Use it up, wear it out, make do, or do without.


Yesterday we fought fat, today we’ll fight debt.

It is frightening how many people are on the edge of bankruptcy. Even more frightening is how filing for bankruptcy seems to have no negative connotations anymore. A family member in her twenties, after buying enough shoes and makeup to gussy up a centipede, handles her debt with a call to an attorney and poof the slate is wiped clean. She’s back off to the mall, cash in hand, scrambling to buy every accessory and garment she deems to be essential to life.

Just like the statement: What doesn’t go through your lips, won’t go on your hips-- if you spend less than you earn you won’t be in debt. Or another way to say this is: If you make a million dollars but spend a million and one dollars, you are in debt.

Not always easy to stay afloat.

Two cousins of mine both went through protracted and horrid divorces. The divorce attorneys made a fortune off of their misfortune. One of the husbands ended up set for life because he’d married a woman with a high paying job. He managed to collect $600,000 from her as a settlement. She managed to survive the financial onslaught, but the other cousin wasn’t so lucky. She had to beg, borrow and steal (not really but almost) to pay off her attorney and she had no control over the rising costs because her soon to be ex made sure that it was one of the longest and messiest divorces known to mankind. Long messy divorces equal lots of checks endorsed to attorneys.

She’s still struggling to make up for the money she lost during the divorce, and I give her credit. She’s doing it the old-fashioned way. She buys nothing that she can’t afford. Credit cards don’t exist and she’s finding ways to eat, clothe her family and survive without acquiring more debt.

I married a man who can’t abide by debt in any form. I’m not sure how I would have fared with a man who was into credit card buying and instant gratification – probably would have had more fun but certainly been in deep debt by now.

I had to learn how to postpone pleasures and develop strong ideas about money, things and what it represented to me.

Few people keep cash under the mattress, but if you did, you could at least take it out and count it and touch it and smell it and it would be real. Money in the bank seems so far removed from reality. You can look at your bank book and see a number but the impact is far less than rolling around in a bed full of green money. But the peace of mind one has when they can and do pay their bills on time is truly priceless to quote a credit card company growing richer by the day on our foolish purchases.

What I have learned from husband is that things shouldn’t represent happiness, self-esteem, security or status. You can't buy the afore mentioned things. Yet you can have all that and still live within your means.

A friend recently replied to me, after I said I couldn’t afford some item, well you deserve it. No, I only deserve what I can afford to buy. Items on shelves or hangers don’t fly off into my cart or yours because of what you deserve…wrongo.

She also said: Treat yourself. Where’s the treat when the bill comes in and I have to dip into savings to pay for some outfit that by now is sporting a pulled thread or a stain or is not as cute as I originally had thought.

Am I the only person who’s noticed how soon a coveted item becomes meaningless? You have to have that Pottery Barn micro suede luxury coverlet which costs $158 but within a week or two is loses its importance and becomes the bedspread it really is. On to the next must-have purchase that promises complete and utter happiness for life…

Look around at your stuff and what still means so much to you it was worth the purchase price? Let’s see I have an antique bed I adore – it cost $15 and 15 hours of labor when I had to peel off old paint and polish old brass until it emerged as the beauty it is. Definitely worth what I paid. Hmmm, what else do I have in this house that I truly love…my stereo system. I play music everyday so this is a definite-worth-the-price item as is my teevee and my computer.

Other than that, I would say mostly everything I own could disappear and I wouldn’t be overly concerned. Even staying within your economic means, you can acquire lots and lots of stuff. So much stuff it keeps you from finding the other stuff you are looking for.

Another cousin of mine found himself 15 thousand dollars in debt even though he had a pretty good paying job. He’d acquired the debt through impulse purchases, being the big spender and always picking up tabs and just foolish ideas about money. When he realized the trouble he was in he made saving money and getting out of debt a game. He’d never throw out a packet of mustard, catsup or duck sauce. He’d take the two sugar packets he’d get with his coffee and save them while drinking the coffee black. He’d cut coupons and if he had to buy anything he’d buy it secondhand or discounted.

Soon he was back on safe economic ground and although he didn’t have to scrimp, he continued his ways until he had a very nice bank account to admire. He started to invest his money and soon his money was making more money for him. Now he’s quite wealthy but he still is frugal and enjoys following the old New England adage of -- Use it up, wear it out, make do, or do without.

Now that I’ve said all this, I sure wish I could afford that blue stone patio I’ve been lusting after. Guess I'll just have to stare at my bank book for awhile to get over it. (sigh)