Wine mouth

Lucky readers a second post in one day. I’m feeling chatty today.

Perhaps I should put a disclaimer on this post. What I am about to talk about is not pretty.

Wine mouth.

I had it this morning and the first look at me in the mirror as I grabbed my toothbrush was horrifying. Wine mouth for those who don’t know is when you drink red wine, then toddle off to bed without brushing your teeth.

(Ok, come on, do you never, ever not even once fall asleep watching a movie and wake up at 2 am and go into bed without brushing your teeth?)

So as above states, I woke up at 2 am after having a couple of glasses of a lovely cabernet and when I woke up this morning I frightened my own self.

Gross stuff coming…

My lips had a purplish glow to them that was completely unnatural and my teeth were closer to slug gray than they were to white. (Obviously I still have slugs on my brain.)

My tongue was also stained a lovely vermilion.

The stuff of horror movies! I heard my silent scream. Oh no!!!!!!

Those of you who have ever experienced wine mouth know the shame that goes with this self-inflicted distortion. All the forensics point to the fact *you* skipped your regular and necessary oral hygiene.

You look like you spent the night smooching an eggplant or Barney.

Luckily, wine mouth can be dispensed of quickly with your Crest and your toothbrush. If you are lucky, no one else ever sees wine mouth and you can pretend to yourself it never happened. You can then walk into the kitchen with your sweet, clean breath, your pink lips, freshly brushed tongue and sparkling choppers and say a big “Good Morning” without fear of being found out.

Unless of course you read this blog and then you’ll know.