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Friday, June 03, 2005

Blog Get A Cat


Remember back to your very first foray into blogging? Remember the very first entries on your blog? Many of us can look back to something similar to this:

September 3, 2003

Hi. This is a test. This is my first attempt at blogging.

September 4, 2003

Hi. Guess no one stopped by to comment.

September 5, 2003

I was late for work today. Why no comments?

September 6, 2003

I forgot to put my garbage pails out by the curb.

(And I wondered why no one commented?)


Remember how you felt as a neoblogger?

I remember thinking: this is my blog and I can write about anything I want.

Then not a single thing came to my mind except things like it’s raining outside and the house smells like wet dogs. I’d purposely put in an anti-Bush comment or a fuck – just to see what would happen.

Would I be arrested by the Secret Service? Would the curse cops come and wipe my blog away for profanity? Nothing happened...it was great – no censorship, at an age when censorship has become more and more prevalent.

I do remember feeling totally free. I could write anything at all because not a damn soul was visiting my site. I had no idea how to comment on anyone’s blog, had no idea what a blogroll was, had no idea about any unspoken or written rules about what to do or not do while blogging.

As time’s gone on, I have started to see patterns of politeness that permeate the blogosphere, have increased my comments on others’ blogs and have had more comments on my own blog.

One day I woke up and felt like blogging was becoming a job. I wasn’t visiting all the blogs I liked; I was forgetting about blogs I had visited in the past because new bloggers were coming to my site, so I was visiting their sites.

I remembered the saying: Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other’s gold.

I tried to get up earlier so I could hit more blogs with more comments and not let anyone think I had abandoned their blog.

I was starting to sweat when I logged onto blogspot…oh god, people were now putting me onto something called a blogroll. It was an honor. I would have to learn how to make my own blogroll. Then I wondered: do you ask permission before you put someone on a blogroll? Can you just blogroll like a maniac without telling the bloggers you’ve linked to them on your page?

More questions arose. Um, how come I put Franksfingers on my blogroll and he didn’t put me on his? Hey, doesn’t he like me? Should I feel affronted?

More angst when I realized, Franksfingers was commenting on other peoples’ blogs but wasn’t commenting on mine. Egads, it felt like a middle school popularity contest and I was losing! There were not enough hours in the day to blog correctly and make sure everyone in blogland knew I liked their wit, writing and photos.

Then I saw comments on blogs like this: Great! Ew! Super! – one word touches allowing the commenter to reach more blogs quicker and use less blogging hours. I just can’t do that. (OK, so I do it once in a while but it isn’t my modus operandi.)

I didn’t blog for a week or so, then I came to grips with this whole blogging concept and made my own rules of etiquette for me and my blog – so here they are:

I wish I’d never started a blogroll. It would be much easier to never have linked to a single person than to try to keep up with the many people I am meeting in blogland who write like angels and who have so many interesting things to say on so many subjects.

If you aren’t on my blogroll it isn’t because I don’t love you. If I’m not on your blogroll I won’t be hurt. I can barely keep up with plain old blogging never mind an ongoing list of favorite bloggers because my list is now reaching astronomical proportions.

I’m glad I included my email on my blog because it’s fun to get email from fellow bloggers – except the ones like: Marybishop, you didn’t write a blog entry today. Why? Are you okay?

Or, Dear Marybishop, please don’t add anymore people to your blogroll or I’ll lose points on Blogshares. (Huh, what the heck is blogshares? Why do they care how many people are on my blogroll…I still don’t know the answer to this question.)

My rules say that I can blog at will. I can make five blog posts in one day or one in five days. Right? I mean it is my blog.

Censorship: On my blog you will never be censored even if you call me all kinds of names and accuse me of having sex with my mother. Your comments will stay there forever and ever and live on in caches all around the world.

Commenting on comments: I try to respond to what people write on my blog. I want to respond. If I missed your comment I’m sorry…Unless my popularity soars, I intend to respond to every comment I see…sometimes I miss a few though.

I love it when one commenter starts talking to another commenter and I can just sit back and watch a conversation grow. Anyone can comment to anyone about anything on my blog. (I never realized until lately that this might be a no no in the blogosphere…but not here at Tchotchkes.)

Without the help of winks, and nuances of tone, and facial grimaces or gesticulations, some times the written word can be misinterpreted. It is not my intention to hurt anyone’s feelings but I’m not going to pussy foot around what I want to say either.

Memes: I still can’t figure out if I like these things or not. But, again, if I don’t tag you it isn’t because I don’t want to know your favorite books, for example, but because I put down bloggers names that come to mind immediately or bloggers who I know haven’t been tagged yet. Everyone who comes to my blog and sees a meme is tagged…that’s my rule.

If I haven’t visited your blog lately, leave a comment on mine, then it jolts my memory that I haven’t been to see you recently.

Most importantly remember there are NO rules on my blog;

There’s no censorship; no you don't have to agree with me; I don't mind if I'm not on your blogroll; I don't care if you don't respond to my comments on your blog; you will be just as happily greeted if you visit once a month or 20 times a day at my blog. You can leave a one-word comment if you want – or write six pages – no length requirement.

If you see I came to your site but didn’t comment it’s because I had nothing witty to say or husband was calling me to please come downstairs and spend some time with him, not because your post wasn't commentworthy.

I love you guys. I am never bored because I know I can come up here and with a few clicks on the keyboard read some of the most amusing, interesting thought-provoking and heart-wrenching stories in the world.

Blogging has to be fun or I just won’t do it. I, like all of us, have enough of the not-so-much-fun stuff to do, so blogging for me is 100 percent fun – a wonderful way to spend some of my free time doing something I adore doing, reading and writing. (Notice no arithmetic is mentioned…unless we want to get into Blog Counters!)

And that my friends is my interpretation of proper Blog Etiquette.

Since I let the cat out of the bag on blog-get-a-cat, I’d love to hear what you think about blogging rules…do you have any for your own blog? What’s bugging you about blogging or bloggers?

33 Comments:

Blogger WILLIAM said...

I like your rules. They are very similar to mine. Except the censorship. One of the reasons I started my blog was so my family and friends, who are 1000 miles away, could see my son grow up. Sometimes I get comments about pictures of my son that kind of "Creep Out" my wife and my mom. I delete those comments. I love that other people read my blog regularly and that they comment, but I agree with you. If it is not fun, I should'nt do it. I like this post.

8:18 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

I understand your reasons for censoring some posts. Even though I'm a mother, I go out of my way not to mention my children for reasons of privacy.

My blog is basically an anonymous blog - not one to be read by most friends and family...

Thanks for the compliment!

8:46 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

kitsune...glad to know I'm not the only one who feels that "tinge of guilt" -- I'm really trying to eliminate guilt from blogging and just enjoy it..because I do. But I know as the weather gets nicer I'm probably not going to be blogging as much....

8:54 AM  
Blogger Weetzie said...

Hear Her, Hear Her! She knows what she's saying! (anyone care to guess where this quote comes from?)
I second ALL you said in your post and btw, I am THINKING about you! ;)

10:27 AM  
Blogger Weetzie said...

oh yeah, I meant to say that I haven't figured out the whole blogroll thing yet so I will take your advice and just not worry about it....no tinges of guilt!

10:29 AM  
Blogger jac said...

Mary,
This is truly hilarious among some of the shits I read

11:32 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Gee Weetzie, I don't know where that quote came from...tell us!

Kitsune, Weetzie et al - why not start a new blogging symbol for just stopped by to say hello, but don't have time to comment -- something like three asterisks

***

Weetzie again, you should have a guilt-free blog experience! We have few things in life that don't make us feel guilty; ate too much, drank too much, stayed up too late etc. etc.

Jac - glad you got a laugh from my blog...!

1:03 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

I've come to realize that other people's rules may not be the same as my own, so I don't take it personally when I comment at someone's place, and they don't coment back, or link back, or whatever.

I am very bad about answering every comment. I'd much rather read their blogs! That said, I do pretty good about visiting everyone who comments, and often leave comments THERE, so it will improve their stats. But that's getting harder to do the more blogs I find that I like. And I do read more blogs than are listed in my sidebar! At some point I may have to take that list off and limit the blogs I read. Ugh. Yep, I hate blogger's guilt!

2:47 PM  
Blogger jg said...

i hear you. the whole linking/commenting thing gets people a little too offended sometimes. honestly, i don't care who links me so long as people are still reading. that's the bottom line. i haven't had time to read anyone's blog for the last week or two, but it didn't mean they stopped checking mine for updates in order to spite me. glad you enjoy this little waste of time as much as the rest of us!

2:55 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Andrea -- I love to write a post, but even better is going around and reading what other people are talking about. I learn so much just from blogs...

I find good movies and books and recipes and laughter...that's what it means to me.

I say it's time to dump all blogger's guilt!

3:33 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

hi jg - thanks for stopping by - nice picture!

I do love blogging but I know I've over-blogged lately -- all I have to do is look at my chores piling up, books I'm not reading etc. and I say: hey, stay away from that computer...but I still find myself up here to see what's going on...

3:36 PM  
Blogger RedPita said...

I myslef am a sometimes commenter. I will comment at random at one blog for a few days, then get obsessed with another blog for a few days.. it goes on and on. My bloglines feeds are getting crazy. There are just so many good ones out there.

The only thing that drives me nuts about the whole blogging thing.. the Big Blogs (you know the ones, no names needed).. never, ever answer email.

As far as the BlogShares thing goes? The first time I saw it I was confused too. Had to check it out, got mildly addicted and had to cut myself off. Its one thing when your not having readers for a few days. Its another thing all together when people buy then sell your soul so quickly.

3:49 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

RitaPita, we just cross-commented! I just came back from your blog...

I've got to delve into Blogshares and figure it out soon...

They're buying me and selling me and I don't even know it?

Yowza

3:56 PM  
Blogger RedPita said...

Mary, yeah check it out.. you are currently going for $2.38 a share ( I am at 74 cents!)

4:22 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Well whatever Blogshares is about - they're effed up because we're both worth more than that!

How do they judge what you're worth? It isn't real money, right? Oh I'm confused...I feel like a piece of meat!

4:28 PM  
Blogger jg said...

it's just a game. a boring blog stock market game to be precise. i tried it for a while and then realized that it's really not fun. like, at all.

5:23 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

I know how you feel about taking a break from blogging...I starting blogging to practice writing, and found that after a few months it had become a chore - some days I just didn't have anything to say, but felt that I had to say something. I've been on a hiatus for about two weeks now and find that I'm missing it, and have realized that maybe part of the art of writing is finding something to write about even if you don't have anything to say that day.

I haven't come up with my own rules for my blog - my wife reads it from time to time, but no one else other than other bloggers.
I'm torn between wanting to maintain my anonymity and being able to reveal more about myself behind that mask, or taking off the mask but feeling somewhat limited in what I can say (don't want to offend parents/in-laws/friends etc)...

6:08 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Well...SOMEONE had to say it and thankfully MB filled that void. I think there should be some discussion of the "rules". In general I don't like rules so at my blog the rule is there are no rules.

Ultimately: I end up jiving with MB on almost all her deliniations.

7:32 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Thanks jg - it's just a game...huh? Well I wanna be Park Place not Indiana Avenue.

Captain...my husband reads mine, and that's about it - I won't have a damn bit of fun if I can't talk about some of my relatives and friends...where does anyone get a lot of their writing material from but experiences with others (who you don't want to hurt..)?

I really do try to write 5 blogs a week, because I test myself to see if I can come up with something entertaining or informative or worthwhile that often...

8:17 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

kitsune...I love IDB - lets people know you visited, but doesn't take long to type and isn't an "ew" or LOL or one of those pithy responses...I'm voting for IDB.

Wow, coming from you LB - that's quite a compliment that we are in agreement!

One thing I wonder about is not a single soul mentioned my BLOG GET A CAT title...come on...no one thought that was clever??? trite?? amusing??? no groans??? nothing?????

8:22 PM  
Blogger RedPita said...

Park Place huh? I'd settle for a railroad. Or at least Free Parking... (this is where I would go on and on with blogger/game board puns if I didn't need to bath the son)

and I got a chuckle out of the title.

8:45 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Thank you ritapita for stroking me and saying you got a chuckle...hell I know it was lame..but aren't puns supposed to be lame?

I thought maybe I'd het a guffaw, but a chuckle is a step up!

Pun making is fun but son bathing is priceless...(I didn't even try to make that pun...)

8:55 PM  
Blogger Irina Tsukerman said...

LOL! I love the title, especially considering that my cat was sitting right next to the computer as I was reading the entry!

I love the "no censorship" rule. LOVE IT! I get really annoyed when people delete comments they don't like (and I'm not talking the ones violating children's privacy); it seems kind of hypocritical and authoritarian. But hey, if it's their blog, they are free to do what they like. I do NOT delete comments unless the same thing is posted twice, and usually it's my own stuff!

Blogroll - no blogger's guilt anymore. I'm SO over that. My blogroll is one of convenience, but I look at other blogs as well. I usually check the regulars every day or whenever I have time, and then there are others which I visit less often. I comment whenever I have something relevant to say, or if someone directly asks for my feedback. I enjoy people leaving comments on my blog, but I understand people may not always have time or things to say... and I love when we get into conversations inside the comments section!

Bloganymity - I say only things that I would tell to anyone in public. My parents never read my blog simply because they never go online, but they know it exists. All of my family knows it exists; some visit it, others don't. I'm all right with everything. I've learned not to use other people's personal names or photographs unless they are OK with that, but I use my own pictures and I'm very open about my own info, because I believe in taking responsibility (and credit) for everything I say. I realize it may become a problem in the future, but I'm planning to conduct my blog in such a way as not to become an embarrassment or a threat to my future job while I'm there, but at the same time to remain open and censorship-free!

10:45 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Irina, one of the reasons I love your blog is your no censorship rule...censorship (not talking about what William previously said) is abhorrent to me.

Also, that book I mentioned to you "Girls Lean Back Everywhere" was written by a lawyer..so you, lawbrat, ecrai et al might find it more interesting than most people since it's speckled with legal decisions, terms, etc.

7:24 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Doc - I wish there was a spell check on comments. This is where I make most of my horrid mistakes -typing fast --where fingers are flying so fast spelling genes aren't fully activated.

The posts I refuse to read are the ones written in kidspeak.

Yo Frenz - gr8 chums r u ging 2 c mooV tnite? Something like that...hate it.

7:27 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

IDB all the way!

11:47 AM  
Blogger Susie said...

Dammit, I don't have time to read all the comments, but I want to, so I'll be back. But I will take a moment to say, YES! I coulda, woulda written just about every word you've said, MB. I have no blogrolly, linky thing because of the popularity, tit-for-tat, yadda yadda, and because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and because I don't need one more freakin' thing to feel like I'm "behind" on. I am always very flattered to find myself included on someone's list; and I am truly not offended to find that I am not. That doesn't prevent me from visiting and commenting if I would be so inclined. I LOVE blogging; it is a huge return for relatively little aggravation. I am still struggling with the time involved, the writing, reading and commenting. I often can't do all in the same day. EXCELLENT POST!

5:04 PM  
Blogger Susie said...

I did it -- read 'em all. I like IDB. That's sort of what I say when I have nothing to add to the discussion but don't want to just be a lurker -- "Just wanted to let you know I was here." JWTLYKIWH. Nope, IDB is much better ;) I deleted a comment once that I thought was offensive to my other commenters -- scolding them, calling them names. I emailed the commenter about it, and that person actually came back later, more polite. I liken blogging to throwing a little party without having to clean my house. And I would do something if one of my guests were making my other guests uncomfortable. I think this metaphor is also why I almost compulsively talk back to commenters. I LOVE that part of blogging, just visiting with every commenter for even a moment. It seems the polite thing to do. I like it when people write about blogging. I haven't done too much of that yet, but have some ideas, and will attempt at some time. Thanks for hosting this discussion, MB :)

7:54 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Thanks Susie! I had to write something on blogging because I really never want to hurt anyone's feelings but won't enjoy my blogging experience if I feel as you say, "I'm behind"..gotta catch up..gotta visit this blog or that blog or they might feel slighted.

I struggle with guilt as it is -- have I been giving more attention to this dog rather than that dog? Did I earn my keep today? (especially when it's a day I just sit at the computer having fun...)

I insist I have a guilt-free blogging experience and wish the same for all bloggers..otherwise we might as well be scrapbooking or waxing the car.

9:21 AM  
Blogger jg said...

how come you haven't blogrolled me yet?!?!

hehe. just kidding.

11:34 AM  
Blogger jg said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:34 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

I did it but it's not showing up? Honest...

Maybe it takes a day or two?

More haikus comparing coffee to sex acts please...

11:42 AM  
Blogger Along said...

I LOVE THIS POST!!! and all the comments that come with it.

I too have no rules when it comes to blogging. I blogroll just because it's easier for me to keep track of all the blogs I usually go to. Some blogs I go to often enough but I don't blogroll them because I'm too lazy to go to my template and add them in. Not because I disllike them or anything. In my blog world, there's no such thing as dislike. If I so happen to read something I disagree with, either I post my comment saying so in a very polite, non-threatening way...or just click on Next Blog.

I love getting comments on my post but I have to remind myself why I'm blogging in the first place. One, because it's fun and Two because I wanted to leave something for my kids to read. Just so they would know what a wierd woman their mother really was. Heheheh...

Thing is, I usually get home and check my blog first thing, just to see if anyone has commented. Then I get "slightly" dissapointed coz no one has and I get upset when my husband points out that I told him the reason I blogged was not for the comments, then I yell at him "but I'm vain!! You know That!! You married me". At which point he keeps quiet and curses the day I ever found out about the blogging world.

Sigh...

3:14 AM  

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