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Tuesday, May 24, 2005

I Love Hotdogs

Have fun with this if you must, but I’d rather have a good hotdog than a stinky steak. When it’s my call on what we’re having for dinner I always choose hotdogs. I put as much effort and energy into my hotdog making as I do beef bourguignon. Only the finest quality hotdogs will do with the freshest of rolls.

I think my most favorite way to cook them is on my inside grill so every delicious aroma floats around my kitchen. I butterfly them sometimes and love crispy strips of bacon stuffed into the toasted roll. I love them with cheese or without, chopped onions are great but not necessary. Even relish is optional…but mustard is mandatory. Skinless hotdogs are my least favorite.

Plain old French’s yellow mustard is my first choice, but I’ll eat any mustard offered and have even enjoyed a hotdog at the ballpark (flabby and barely cooked with a brownish mustard that’s unlike any I’ve ever found in a jar and a relish that fluoresces in a strange Star Wars sort of way).

I have willfully traveled an hour and a half to go to a favorite hotdog stand called Walters. At Walters you order hotdogs this way: Seven regular dogs and two plain.

That’s it. You get the regular hotdog which has a mixture of mustard and relish on it – again, no mustard or relish you’ve ever seen before or will see again unless you eat at Walters – or you get nothing. There’s no “Hold the relish” talk at Walters. It’s simple to order.

Maybe they sprinkle cannabis on their hotdogs; maybe they marinate them in wine…I don’t know what they do to those pink tubes that turns them into such culinary delights, but they are the finest.

I have a new package of Boar’s Head hotdogs with skins in my refrigerator. Later on I’ll hit the best bakery in town for some fresh baked rolls.

So as I sip my morning coffee and write my morning blog, I already know what I’m having for dinner. Frankly, I can’t wait.


30 Comments:

Blogger mary bishop said...

Ha ha -- glad you caught it! You are so sage....ha ha.

9:56 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Doc, It takes a Kierkegaardian leap of faith to eat a hotdog.

Yet if I thought a lot about most things I eat --I wouldn't eat them...

12:29 PM  
Blogger Weetzie said...

I just read all your archives and I still think we are kindred spirits! =)
I would love to make comments on all the old posts....but you probably don't go back and read them? I will take notes and send you all my belated comments. ;)
Hot dogs, they are good as you say, any way....

1:23 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Well I thought we had confirmed that yes indeedy we are kindred spirits! Now the love of hotdogs too??

Make your comments and blogger sends me an email so I can go back to the archive of which you are speaking..no problem...

I frequently get comments on past posts...most of the time, I actually enjoy rereading the stuff I wrote...hell I've got no shame!

1:32 PM  
Blogger Spurious Nurse said...

Sounds so, so good!



Do they have a branch of the Weinerschnitzel hot dog chain where you are? They've got these mustard dogs that just blow your mind....Sweet God, I need a hot dog!I don't care what's in them.

1:38 PM  
Blogger sparklestone said...

By choice, I no longer eat hot dogs. But I miss them. Every once in a while I will make some chili and get some good sauerkraut and all the fixins and pile high a veggie-dog. But it ain't the same.

Is it alright if I live vicariously through your hotdog experiences?

2:10 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

I worked at a hot dog/root beer stand in high school. For me, there's nothing like a spanish hot dog with cheese and onions, mmmmmm...

2:12 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Plum - unfortunately no..I'll bet they're delicious though -

Sparky - of course you may live through my hotdog. But why did you choose to eschew hotdogs if you dream of chewing them?

Are you meat-free? Or just hotdog free?

If you are totally meat free, you can roast eggplant spears - plop them into your roll and do it up with mustard kraut etc. pretty darn good, but don't overcook the eggplant.

Andrea - you once had my ideal job - working in a hotdog stand sounds heavenly...is a spanish hotdog just cheese and onions or do they put something else on them?

2:36 PM  
Blogger Sylow_P said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:25 PM  
Blogger Sylow_P said...

My grandfather would always buy us lots of hotdogs, and then not eat any himself. He worked at a meat packing plant for 40 years.

He'd say, "If you saw what went into them you wouldn't eat them either. Here let me fix you another one."

3:27 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Sylow - My grandfather said similar things about bakery products as he worked in a bakery for years...(mice in the mincemeat and bugs in the flour...)

My other grandfather worked as a mortician...he had even worse things to say about what happened why you died...alas, not much you can do about it then...

Sylow, do you eat hotdogs now?

3:36 PM  
Blogger sparklestone said...

I don't eat meat out of guilt/bad karma for causing a lot of pain/death to animals. Also, in grad school, Sylow had a tupperware full of hotdogs in his bachelorpad fridge that he neglected and the wieners adhered, or maybe coalesced is scientifically more correct, to the plastic. The bottom of the tupperware was actually part hotdog and the bottom hotdogs were part plastic. When he tried to dump the hotdogs out into the trash, the upper dogs separated with a disconcerting sucking sound. Certainly no hotdogs since then.

7:11 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

No I "shant" believe you were nasty to animals...no, doesn't fit.

Sylow's hotdog experiment in the Tupperware would be off-putting though...

7:23 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Spanish hot dogs have "Spanish sauce" on them. The sauce is not from Spain, nor is the recipe, and I have no idea why it's called "Spanish sauce." It's basically ground beef with some sort of tomato-y sauce...a little like a chili dog, but no beans (and not spicy). Kind of like spaghetti sauce, but not. Cheese and onions are optional, but why skip them??? :)

8:17 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Oh, I actually found the recipe online for the VERY Spanish sauce in question (of B&K Root Beer, the place I worked):

B&K Spanish Sauce for Hot Dogs

2 pounds lean 15% ground beef
3⁄4 cup water
2 cups Hunts ketchup
4 1⁄2 teaspoons chili powder
2 tablespoons white vinegar
1⁄4 cup onion, diced fine
1 teaspoon salt

Do not cook hamburger meat first. Mix raw hamburger with the water and add all the ingredients together in a pot. Simmer for 1 hour. Spoon over hot dogs, or delicious served on a bun by itself.

8:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I go for the Turkey dog variety. I dont eat red meat, but thats slowly changing. I love them on the grill. Nothing like it.

8:52 PM  
Blogger Irina Tsukerman said...

My favorite are long dark red beef ones, fried to a slight crisp. You could do perverse things with them, such inserting one into a bagel hole and biting at it from the top...

9:08 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Thank you thank you Andrea for the recipe! Gotta make it.

Lawbrat...I don't think I've ever had a turkey hotdog..but I should try one just to know how it tastes.

Irina...
Now I know why you answered on the one word meme misleading for your appearance...;-)

9:23 AM  
Blogger Echrai said...

I loooooooove hot dogs. I can't tell you why. I barely eat red meat, but I will eat my hot dogs. And I am the same way - must have mustard. Relish and ketchup are optional. Fresh rolls are also a must. *drool* Now I'm soooo hungry.

12:11 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Yummy Hot Dog! I don't care what's in them...so long as I don't know. I wouldn't be interested in the details if you know what I mean. No brain, no pain, I guess.

I love the spanish sauce recipe from Andrea. Recipies are such a gift. Thanks girl!

Turkey dogs are pretty good. The worst hotdog known to mankind is the fat free hot dog. You might as well gnaw on a pvc pipe. Just as yummy but loaded with fiber rich polymers.

Mmmmm...polymers.

12:13 PM  
Blogger Sylow_P said...

Yes, I eat nearly anything; much like our kitten, only I draw the line at dirt as a main course.

I would like to add that the sausages Sparklestone refers to were perfectly fine. While they did stick to the bottome of the tupperware when turned upside down, the only real reason they were discarded was because I couldn't get the lid off.

Somewhere in a Louisiana landfill there is a tiny polish sausage universe still percolating in a very well designed tupperware bowl.

2:14 PM  
Blogger Veronica said...

Finally, I can admit without shame that I, too, love hot dogs. I feel guilty eating any meat(seriously, I imagine Morrissey shaking his head and me and clucking, and I don't want to disappoint the Moz). And I don't care what's in them, either, for some reason.

Did you ever see that Onion article, from about 3 years ago, that is "written" by Christopher Walken, titled "I Love Hot Dogs?" It's all about how he hates people who don't like hot dogs. Hilarious.

3:39 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

echrai...hotdogs are in a class of their own...who knows what color meat is in them? Who cares? I don't know what's in a beer, I have some idea, but I still adore beer...what are hops? I don't know but give me an I-don't-know hotdog with an I-don't-know beer and life is good and cheap...

8:24 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

LB says: The worst hotdog known to mankind is the fat free hot dog. You might as well gnaw on a pvc pipe.

I'm laughing lady...you nailed the fat free hotdog...fuggetabouttit - forever I'll think of pvc pipe haha.

8:26 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Sylow - I know about food that won't come off a plate (or container) even when held upside down for a long time...in my case it was the famous Tuna Noodle Casserole...must have been the same recipe that spawned Super Glue.

You have a kitten...aw...wish I had one...I just have two ornery old cats that I adore.

8:29 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Veronica, I do try to read Onion, but missed that article...maybe I can find it in a cache...sounds wonderful.

Sometimes I feel very badly about eating the vegetables I grow...but we have to eat something, why not hotdogs no matter what Sparklestone says...

8:34 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Wow, sylow you're so stately and grand looking in that formal photo. Nice!

Walken on Hot Dogs

10:45 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Thanks LB for finding the link to the article Veronica spoke of -- I loved it...

obviously hotdogs strike emotional chords with people - I wonder if there's a red/blue thing going on..red states don't like hotdogs and blue states do...?

Perhaps it's an annual income thing - rich don't like them but the poor do...or am I projecting?

10:51 AM  
Blogger Susie said...

Wow, people are into the hotdog comments, huh? I only have hotdogs a few times a year, because I don't want turkey or lowfat, or any of that. I want a plain old all beef hotdog. Preferably grilled outside. I used to work near this little soda shop kind of place that had a hotdog they called "The Wrangler." It was split down the middle, stuffed with white American cheese, wrapped in bacon, and deep fried, the put on a toasted roll. Heavenly. And deadly.

5:26 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Oh I'm a hankering for a deadly Wrangler right now...gotta try that combo out...

Sounds yummy Susie!

5:30 PM  

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