Fruit Rules
I was 13. Sitting in the school cafeteria, I was finishing up my lunch. Mom had packed a particularly lovely banana which I’d saved for last.
Life was good. Like the banana, I was on the brink of maturity and I’d also made it to this point -- bruise free.
I remember slowly peeling the thick, yellow, leathery skin down on all sides until the banana looked like a lily of sorts. I remember picking off the strings that stuck to the vanilla flesh of the fruit. I remember taking a bite, anticipating the way my teeth would sink into the soft, sweet, banana pulp.
I remember the laughter. Screams, howls, guffaws.
I remember munching off another bite, still holding the banana in my hand as if it were a nosegay.
More laughter, louder and longer.
What in hell was so damn funny? I looked around and saw fingers pointing my way. Boys were jumping up and down holding their sides, pretending to be weak from laughter. Girls were giving me a scowling look like I’d just broken into my little sister’s piggy bank.
What was going on?
The cafeteria had turned into a room filled with laughing hyenas – all looking in my direction.
I had no idea what was so funny and why the joke was obviously on me. All I was doing was finishing up my lunch.
A student teacher, young, freckled and wholesome-looking, noticed the hullabaloo and came over to where I was sitting. I didn’t say a word, still munching but now with small tears welling in my eyes.
I remember what she said to me: the simplicity yet profundity of her words.
Girls don't eat bananas in the lunch room.
-------
For information on fruits of all kinds, please visit Ms. Plum.
I was 13. Sitting in the school cafeteria, I was finishing up my lunch. Mom had packed a particularly lovely banana which I’d saved for last.
Life was good. Like the banana, I was on the brink of maturity and I’d also made it to this point -- bruise free.
I remember slowly peeling the thick, yellow, leathery skin down on all sides until the banana looked like a lily of sorts. I remember picking off the strings that stuck to the vanilla flesh of the fruit. I remember taking a bite, anticipating the way my teeth would sink into the soft, sweet, banana pulp.
I remember the laughter. Screams, howls, guffaws.
I remember munching off another bite, still holding the banana in my hand as if it were a nosegay.
More laughter, louder and longer.
What in hell was so damn funny? I looked around and saw fingers pointing my way. Boys were jumping up and down holding their sides, pretending to be weak from laughter. Girls were giving me a scowling look like I’d just broken into my little sister’s piggy bank.
What was going on?
The cafeteria had turned into a room filled with laughing hyenas – all looking in my direction.
I had no idea what was so funny and why the joke was obviously on me. All I was doing was finishing up my lunch.
A student teacher, young, freckled and wholesome-looking, noticed the hullabaloo and came over to where I was sitting. I didn’t say a word, still munching but now with small tears welling in my eyes.
I remember what she said to me: the simplicity yet profundity of her words.
Girls don't eat bananas in the lunch room.
-------
For information on fruits of all kinds, please visit Ms. Plum.
posted by mary bishop | 7:35 AM
27 Comments:
weak with laughter myself. that one is a gem.
funny. You tell a story so well.
Odd. I found the story kinda .. well, sad.
Lovely, but sad. I want to take that poor lil girl's chin in my hand and whisper "But you go ahead and eat your banana. Fuck 'em and their rules."
I can't say I've ever had anything like that happen, myself, but I can soooo picture it. Poor little MB. :)
That actually happend to my wife while attending engineering school at the college level. She set the banana on the table and took her silverwear knife and cut it into 1/4 inch slices. The room became silent in about 2 seconds.
Rita...it's a true story - how innocent was I?
William -- thanks!
Nilbo - yes, it was sort of sad...I place the end of my innocense on that particular day -- the beginning of the bad part of self-consciousness.
Echrai - everyone's laughing at me and I have no idea why...I did feel like a poor little MB that day.
lawbrat - I'm all for a banana eating sit-in - I wonder if the banana eating incident would still be as hilarious in today's cafeterias?
Jeff - since your wife's profession tells me she's used to working around men, I think that was a brilliant idea she had! Take the knife to the banana and see how funny that one is!!!
I still need counceling for some of the things I went through in middle school.
thank goodness for that innocence! If only there were more of it in our schools.
hotmama...I've found that repeating "eff them" over and over again has helped me get beyond the miserable school years I had...
Weetzie -- Isn't it odd that I can date my loss of innocence to that one day?
I feel sad for little MB too. Being young was really cool until puberty hit. I still don't eat bananas in public, if I have to, I always break them apart. Boys get be bad, men can be boys too!
I lost my innocence when I was in 8th grade the first day of school at a new school, a senior put the moves on me in the back of the bus. I was scared as hell but living every school boys dream. I didnt know when you kissed a girl they make funny moaning noises? It scared the hell out of me. I had kissed a girl my age and that was no big deal, but the highly sought after, never found older woman was a scary deal for me at 13 years old.
Middle school/junior high aged kids can be such idiots. They have no real self-esteem so they have to try to make someone else feel stupid. Eff 'em is right!
The heat and my mom has me writing typos all over the place. sorry.
Pg Yeah,,,,Mwaaaah - everyone feel sad for little MB -- sometimes I forget I once was little and not all grown up since I was born. Somedays it feels that way.
Hang in there with mom...and stay cool...
Jeff - you make a major point that not all young teens are thrilled to be seduced by older females.
Guys deal with scary stuff too...
squirl - you nailed it. If you really have self esteem you don't need to mock or put down someone else to feel good about yourself.
Maybe I should explain better. I was scared all right, but scared in a good way. Though it may have twisted me for the rest of my days ;)
What the heck made you think of that? Im curious. Were you eating a banana today?
Some kids are so cruel,,,, not all.
mary,
i wasn't laughing at you silly. I was laughing at the whole idea of it.. that a freaking fruit could turn a lunch room into chaos. (and of course, your ability to make any story so.. real and human)
I wonder if the student teacher thinks back to that day and wishes she would have said something, anything different then what came out of her mouth.
I too had a horrible Jr school expierence.. I was once egged while waiting for the bus, my shoes were stolen and thrown out the bus window.. in fact, a lot of things happened on that stupid bus.
jeff, s'okay to be scared in a good way! (Glad it was good experience, even if an odd one..)
dashababy, interesting question you raise -- here's the answer. I think of bizarre things when I first wake up...things from dreams or god knows what or why...and this morning I just remembered the day the world became strange to me... (I almost never eat bananas believe it or not. Something happened that day to make the banana "fruita non grata" in my life.)
Ritapita, of course you weren't laughing at me...sorry if I said something to make you think that.
You, my dear, are all heart and soul and brains and beauty and wouldn't hurt a flea...unless you were mighty pissed off, and then I'd make sure it wasn't me who had offended you! (I would never do that...)
That foolish statement about girls don't eat bananas just stuck with me for all these years.
I wonder about that student teacher too...wonder if she eats bananas now...
Mary,
I think I will bookmark this post and read your comment back when I am feeling low.. heart and soul and brains and beauty huh? Thats enough to pull any girl outta a slump.
And ditto that but add in fantasic writter with a wiked funny sense of humur.. and there you go , Ms. MaryB.
Adore you girlie.
(I was going to make a crack about the student teacher being caught eating bananas in some back alley, but I will leave that one for Jeff... okay Jeff... and.. GO!)
I didn't quite get this post. Is it because the banana resembles...ehem...that "thingy"?
Sorry, it's just this is the first time I've heard or read about people laughing at other people for eating a banana.
I love bananas!! They help keep constipation away.
I would know, trust me.
That is one of the stupidest teachers I've ever heard of! What planet is she from??? Sorry, but pithy quotes like this one drive me absolutely nuts. I've heard a number of such "pearls" in my life and yet every time I continue to be amazed!
P.S. I hated junior high school even more than I hate going to the dentist! ; )
Rita - I can see the headlines: Small town teacher arrested for banana eating behind local library!
Along - you got it! I've found in life that anything that is longer than it is wide can be compared to a "thingy"!!!
Irina, those middle school years are the toughest, aren't they? Hateful hateful times where girls hone their bitch skills and boys hone their chick-mocking skills.
Doc -Catholic anything is tough - the nuns and I never got along well...
As bad as banana eating was for a girl, I'm sure a boy eating a banana had a worse time of it.
Why didn't our mothers pack the damn things in our lunch bags anyhow?
Correction: Why did our mothers pack the damn things...
MB: Mom's forget what it was like in the caf.
I have to say this post (well written as per usual) gave me the shivvers as I can recall a similar rough exit from innocence. It was a real bummer. Life was never that straightforward and naive again.
I look at my two wee ones and wonder when their time will come and if it already has for my bigger.
Post a Comment
<< Home