I do I don't I do I don't I do I don't
Erin go Blog! (and all my other friends too!)
March 17th is a great day for the Irish and for all of us. We’ve passed the ominous Ides of March, winter is coming to a close, crocuses are breaking through the earth and spring is on its way.
Okay that’s all the sunshine I’m going to pump up your ass for one day.
It’s mid morning and already I’ve had two extended calls; one from a married friend and one from a divorced friend. Heretofore known as MF and DF.
MF launches into a dialogue about how bad it is to be married to her uncaring, selfish, lazy, over-drinking, unromantic husband. Plus he leaves his tools all around the house when he works on a project!
DF is sniffling on the phone: I have no one to go to any St. Patrick’s Day parties with. You don’t know how lonely it is to be single and spend every holiday by yourself. I have a bad leak under the kitchen sink and do I have anyone to fix it? No, I have to hire someone to do the simplest home repair.
MF is worried about going out with her husband on an extended pub crawl tonight: He’ll get bombed and then he gets irritable and nasty. Half the time he leaves me alone and hangs out with his buddies while I’m sitting at a table all by myself.
DF isn’t going to go out by herself to a pub and everyone she knows is married and doing things with their spouses so she’ll just have to sit alone in her darkened living room toasting herself with a glass of green-tinted lukewarm milk…sniff sniff.
MF wishes she was single again and asks me why she got married a second time and didn’t enjoy her singlehood. If she were single now, she tells me, she’d be digging in her closet for a green sweater or blouse and going out on the town by herself without having to worry about her husband’s mood or alcohol consumption.
DF wonders if she did the right thing getting the divorce, the longer she’s single the better her ex seems to her. I mention that when she was married to him she couldn’t stand him and reminded her of why she got the divorce in the first place.
And so on and on and on.
I’ll spare you more of the conversation. You get my drift.
Why do both these women envy each other’s current lifestyle when both women have had at least one shot at being both single and married? They should know now, the good, the bad and the ugly of both situations.
If you are single, you will have times when you wish you had a partner, a husband or wife to go through life with. If you are married, you will have times when you wish you were free and could come and go as you pleased and didn’t have anyone to answer to.
No matter how many times you switch roles from married to unmarried to remarried, the above will apply.
Am I saying that you will never be perfectly happy whether you are with or without a spouse?
Yes, that is exactly what I’m saying.
Married or not married, you have one person that truly loves you, will look out for you and have your best interests in mind all the time-- and that person is you.
Erin go Blog! (and all my other friends too!)
March 17th is a great day for the Irish and for all of us. We’ve passed the ominous Ides of March, winter is coming to a close, crocuses are breaking through the earth and spring is on its way.
Okay that’s all the sunshine I’m going to pump up your ass for one day.
It’s mid morning and already I’ve had two extended calls; one from a married friend and one from a divorced friend. Heretofore known as MF and DF.
MF launches into a dialogue about how bad it is to be married to her uncaring, selfish, lazy, over-drinking, unromantic husband. Plus he leaves his tools all around the house when he works on a project!
DF is sniffling on the phone: I have no one to go to any St. Patrick’s Day parties with. You don’t know how lonely it is to be single and spend every holiday by yourself. I have a bad leak under the kitchen sink and do I have anyone to fix it? No, I have to hire someone to do the simplest home repair.
MF is worried about going out with her husband on an extended pub crawl tonight: He’ll get bombed and then he gets irritable and nasty. Half the time he leaves me alone and hangs out with his buddies while I’m sitting at a table all by myself.
DF isn’t going to go out by herself to a pub and everyone she knows is married and doing things with their spouses so she’ll just have to sit alone in her darkened living room toasting herself with a glass of green-tinted lukewarm milk…sniff sniff.
MF wishes she was single again and asks me why she got married a second time and didn’t enjoy her singlehood. If she were single now, she tells me, she’d be digging in her closet for a green sweater or blouse and going out on the town by herself without having to worry about her husband’s mood or alcohol consumption.
DF wonders if she did the right thing getting the divorce, the longer she’s single the better her ex seems to her. I mention that when she was married to him she couldn’t stand him and reminded her of why she got the divorce in the first place.
And so on and on and on.
I’ll spare you more of the conversation. You get my drift.
Why do both these women envy each other’s current lifestyle when both women have had at least one shot at being both single and married? They should know now, the good, the bad and the ugly of both situations.
If you are single, you will have times when you wish you had a partner, a husband or wife to go through life with. If you are married, you will have times when you wish you were free and could come and go as you pleased and didn’t have anyone to answer to.
No matter how many times you switch roles from married to unmarried to remarried, the above will apply.
Am I saying that you will never be perfectly happy whether you are with or without a spouse?
Yes, that is exactly what I’m saying.
Married or not married, you have one person that truly loves you, will look out for you and have your best interests in mind all the time-- and that person is you.
posted by mary bishop | 10:55 AM
6 Comments:
Wow, great post. You have no idea how much this relates to me. It's like you're somehow inside my head.
Thanks for the lesson. I needed a touch of that today and
Erin Go Blog to you too!
Thanks Lauren. Wish I could buy you a beer at an Irish pub!
I think the problem is that neither of these women can recognize the fact that no situation is permanant. Because you're single today doesn't mean you won't be married tomorrow and vice versa. Enjoy each situation as it lasts. Enjoy each step in a relationship to the fullest without begging for more. If you do that, you'll end up SO much happier with your life.
I screwed up the first time around. I started off as SF (single and hating it) because I thought I needed a man to complete me. Then I became MF because my husband was a jerk. (I'm not just saying that, he really was!) But I got out of the situation and vowed to learn from the lesson. I've lived singly for the past two years and loved it. I'd like to get married again, but I'm in no rush. I'm enjoying the here and now. It'll change, but I'll enjoy that too. Life's too short to only look at the negative. MF and DF, figure out who you are and WISE UP!
And Erin Go Blog to you as well! Slainte!
This is the last time I am going to try to post a comment...!
I forgot what I was going to say but I've tried 6 times!
echrai what's on your head?
Gee, it's hard to post a comment here. Anne P.
HI anon...yes, blogger has become a problem lately. I think the volume of people blogging has increased geometrically and it's not up to the job anymore.
It's free...remember that part. Come back if you remember your comment.
As for my dear friend echrai, I think she's wearing a ceremonial headress.
Indeed, very ceremonial. They're Shrek ears. :) I wore them yesterday for St. Patrick's day, too. My boss rolls her eyes, but everybody else seems to enjoy me bouncing around the office with them on. Quiet joyful insanity can be a very good thing!
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