The Days of Whine and Ruses

or

Things Husband does that Makes me Crazy!



If you make a lemon meringue pie and leave off the meringue have you made a lemon meringue pie?

No…right answer.

So extrapolating from that point I have to say that if you don’t paint all the trim, leave some spots on the pantry door without paint and haven’t painted the area behind the refrigerator, you have not “finished” painting the kitchen ergo the kitchen is not painted. (whine)

If you say you are running to Home Depot for a paintbrush and will be back in ½ hour and don’t come home for 3 hours and when you do you need a hydraulic lift to get your purchases out of the car, have you bald-face lied or were you just caught up by the seductive merchandising of Home Depot? (ruse)

If you spend half a day in the front garden weeding and trimming and you leave large brown paper bags in the middle of the garden and the chartreuse-colored hose is snaking through the garden and two or three gardening tools are scattered in the grass, does this mean that the front garden looks good now? (whine)

If the two of you are leaving for a friend’s house and bringing the wine plus a few other goodies, and husband says I’m going to bring some beer with us too since it’s a warm day and wife says fine and you both leave the house with bags (wife’s contains the dessert and some snacks) husband has a cooler and another bag, and you get to said house and unpack and realize the wine was left on the counter is the wife at fault? (ruse and whine: he was doing the beverages and I was doing the food.)

If husband says let’s snuggle on the couch and you say okay but run into the bathroom to brush your teeth so that you won’t risk “wine mouth” (see post) and in the three minutes you take to brush your teeth you find husband in a dead sleep on the sofa, is this considered your special time together? You minty breathed and awake, he sprawled on your area of the couch and sleeping? (ruse and whine)

Finally, if husband is tracking mud in the house and wrecking the floor you just washed and the rug you just vacuumed and your pissed and husband comes up to you and hugs you and tells you how much he loves you and how pretty you look (in your sweats and ponytail) is he sincere? (ruse baby --ruse all the way)

Note: Captaingrubby, wherever you might be, this post was created with you in mind.