A True Story of Three Tales of Woe


I broke my favorite coffee cup when I picked up the cat who didn’t want to be picked up so she extended her paw with its extended claw which caught on the mat which dragged the mat cum cup off the edge of the table and onto the floor where it turned into shards while I nudged the naughty cat out the door with my toe and the door slammed shut before my foot withdrew and now my toe is red and sore and I might have broken the door or my toe, so there’s my first woe.

I did a load of whites which contained something red, a sock stuck in the sheets from the bed, that I didn’t notice till the sheets turned puce when the red sock let loose of that hideous dye - though the sheets were a buy I still have to say I’ve just had them one week and now their deceased unless I can stand white sheets with ruby red stains that will make me insane if I have to see them but the charge is still pending and that’s not fair when the purchase is ending its short life – such strife - so out they go, the reason for my second woe.

Third woe and last, is just taking a bath - a joy I was hoping for with filled tub, music and more when my red swollen toe hits the lavender bubbles with aloe, the doorbell rings so out comes the toe and I sneak a peek out the nearest window and see the wig of an ancient neighbor who's known to be senile but gentle and mild, so I guess I must answer so I swerve to the closet to find some clothes and pull on my robe and run to the door and slip on the floor and bang the dang toe as I say "Hello" and she’s got nothing to sell but is holding my cat, purring and docile and she asks if my cat is lost she couldn’t tell but she found one under her tree and wondered if it belonged to me and hands me the cat when I say yes, it’s mine and she talks for quite a long time until the bubbles are flat and the water is cold and the cat looks at me like see, don’t you ever fuck with me.