Cravings and Cranberries and Objects of Unknown Origin

Note: This is a double post day because I have to have some answers here and now. I've got a severe cranberry problem and I need help!



I’m a craver.

I also pine for and have a yen for.

I’ll be living my life just fine and it will hit me, just like it did last week: “You must have some dried cranberries” an inner voice will say.

My sane self will tell inner voice I’ve never ever bought dried cranberries in my entire life.

Inner voice comes back at me, “Well, how about canned cranberries or frozen cranberries, or at least cranberry juice don’t you want some cranberry juice for crissakes?”

Sane self says no, of course not, I don’t drink cranberry juice. Too tart. I have no need for cranberries of any sort. I buy cranberry sauce when I make a turkey. It’s 80 degrees out and I’m not roasting a turkey thank you very much.

Eventually the inner voice wins and I tell husband to stop and buy dried cranberries on his way home from work.

He does and I’m reading the label and it says it might contain “earthen objects”.

Okay…never saw that before on an ingredient list. Yum yum.

Why can’t the cranberry driers wash the little suckers so they will be free from “earthen objects.” I don’t want any “earthen objects” in my cranberries.

I crave cranberries..not dirt.

Not stuff you might find in dirt either.

Then it dawns of me, worms are earthen objects. Is the label telling me I might be eating worms if I dare to eat any of these shriveled up yet wildly coveted dried-cranberries? Egads, what about the hated and detested bugs that can be found in earth, are they considered earthen objects?

Why can’t the ingredient list just say cranberries. Nothing else.

Earthen objects? – would you want to eat anything that disclosed the information that what was in this container might have some of that in it?

And how come when I did a google search for “earthen objects’ nothing, zero came up.

What kind of dried cranberries did he find in Stop and Shop? Did some creature from the bog rise up from the muck, grab a handle full of cranberries stick them in the sun, wipe his butt with them, then pack them in a solo container and sell them to S & S?

What am I going to do with my craving and my cranberries? Shall the twain ever meet?

Anybody got a recipe that calls for “earthen objects?”

I need help before I turn into a craving maniac!

Righting a Wrong...I never speak of fruit without linking to the glorious Spurious Plum.

She is the beauty of the bog, the chief or the orchards, the princess of the patch and true apple of my eye. Yes, when thinking fruit, I should have instantly linked to the woman known world round for her Fruit Facts. I apologize!