Notes on a Party

It was a great outdoor party on a most beautiful, almost-summer day. The hostess had done everything she could to provide comfort and joy for all those that attended. It was a no-present-giving party which made it even more spectacular.

Now some thoughts:

The hostess had about 25 percent more food than necessary – that was because 25 percent of the people who said they would attend – didn’t. Nice job to those who screwed this nice woman by forcing her to buy way more than she needed, costing her much more than she needed to spend, and then making her take all this extra food and dump it in the garbage as her punishment for inviting them.

One woman showed up with her dog.

She announced that her dog “Raffie” was her date. We all laughed-- thought that was a cute introduction to both the woman and her dog. But soon we realized she meant it.

If you sat next to her for any length of time you knew more about Raffie than you would ever care to know. Raffie drinks from a water bottle. Raffie loves beer. Raffie gets indigestion from hotdogs. Raffie only will sleep in her bed. Raffie and she are going on vacation together – all dog friendly hotels. Raffie loves to travel etc. etc. etc. Every week she bathes, brushes, grooms, snips and polishes all parts of Raffie.

Okie Dokie.

Then there was the woman with Tourettes.

I don’t know if she actually had the syndrome or what her problem was – but she managed to blurt out things that people think but do not say out loud at a party.

“She’s in love with that dog and I’m not sitting next to her. That’s all she talks about is that damn dog. Boring.”

“I don’t want a small paper plate. I don’t like small paper plates. You’d think she’d have some big paper plates. There’s too much food to put on this small paper plate.”

“Some of that food up there – I don’t know what it is but it doesn’t look good. There are some gray flat things that look like moldy fish. Do you know what those gray flat things are?” (eggplant)

“I’m engaged. I’ve been engaged for years and I don’t think he’s ever going to marry me. I’m too fat now for that wedding gown I bought a few years ago.”

Okie Dokie times two.

Another woman I spoke with did the “guess my age” game which I hate. Unless you say 20 you know you’re in trouble. To me the woman looked like she was pushing 60. Maybe older…I’m not good at age. I can’t say she looks 20 because that would be ridiculous…so I remove ten plus years and say: late 40s? (Thinking I’m safe and complimentary at the same time.)

She says, 50…I have not said what she wants me to say…

Okie Dokie times three.

I watched the water wasters. They grab a bottle of water, open it up, take a slug, put it down, eat a chip or shake a hand, go back to the table…look at their water bottle, shrug and go get another one because they’re not sure which one is theirs. I must have thrown out 25 full water bottles when I was helping clean up. Ridiculous. I tried to give one to Raffie as he was looking thirsty but his date said she didn’t want one that had been already opened and took a new one.

Okie Dokie times four.

The great divide: Work friends, family, neighbors, other assorted friends. Ever notice how parties always seem to fall into these groups? I attempted to infiltrate a few of the groups in which I didn’t belong by pleasant chatter and friendly hellos, but basically the vibes were: stick to your own kind. Only Miss Dog Date and Miss Tourettes seemed successful in breaking into groups other than their own – and I think that was because they were already so socially inept they didn’t feel the iciness of the new group and probably had been encouraged to leave the group they were with prior to moving on.

My final thoughts are why do people even have a party anymore with so many rude and wasteful guests? Whatever happened to “treat others as you would want to be treated”?