Dear Search-Word Visitors,

It never ceases to amaze me why you come here; what you are searching for and how bizzare many of the searches are.

You have an obsession with girdles. I get hits daily on girdles. I am sorry I have no sexy pictures or erotica about girdles to make your heart sing. I only wrote a post about Grandma that had the word girdle in it. How disappointing it must be for you to be led to that journal entry. No wonder why you fly off my blog and onto the girdle on the next blog. I know, I know, you search for rubber girdles. Rubber is very important to you. Do you ever stop to wonder why you find this so interesting? I do.

I wrote about bug bites that seemed to pop up overnight. I asked, who else gets odd bug bites? I didn't get many answers at all. But, re: search words: bug bites are consistent hits, ten to twenty a day. Many people want to know all about Noseeums. So I know I'm not alone in bug bites or Noseeums. Good, let's all scratch together.

Elective amputation is another routine search. I wrote about that so long ago I can't remember. But your interest in such a bizarre idea worries me. Amputation is a biggie. Maybe today you'd like to get rid of your leg, arm or finger, but what about ten years from now? They don't grow back. I suggest a different hobby or a substitution for your fetish...can't you grow roses or become a cartoonist instead? I worry about you.

Grandma having sex with (fill in the blank). Why do you want to see pictures or read stories about Grandma having sex? This is another odd compulsion you might think about replacing with a good compulsion, like flossing. Try flossing instead. You'll feel better when you are alone with yourself at night and it's very quiet and you get that urge.

Lewis the cat is another top search string. I hope all Lewis lovers will write their congresspersons in support of Lewis. I have received a few visitors who wanted to know: Does Lewis have his balls? I believe Lewis does not have his balls. Thanks for asking.

Exploding glass is apparently a big problem not only in the US but in just about every country including Fiji. Hey Fiji visitor, it was cool to see that country pop up on my stats. Thanks. I always wanted to go to Fiji but now that I know your glass explodes too, I guess I'll stay home. It's obvious to me that there are inherent problems with safety glass and maybe non safety glass is actually safer because it doesn't explode. I'm sorry for everyone who's had exploding oven doors, stereo cabinet doors, patio table tops, stemware etc. I hope it gives some comfort that it is a top search and happening all over the world.

How to clean GE profile taupe stove grates. Indeed, I hate to have to tell you, I have researched this problem and the answer is you have just spent a shitload of money on a stove you thought would look pretty good if you cleaned it and truth is: you and I are screwed. The taupe color is not suitable for gas ranges. It turns black no matter what you do. If you try too hard to clean it you'll see a silver color. Your stove is going to look crappy until you replace it. Want to start a class action suit? I do. I want my grates to be all black. Let's storm GE headquarters!

And, maybe the top search words ever: Waxing Testicles. I've had the "how to" searches; the "pictures of" searches; the "where do I find someone who will", searches and one "Am I crazy to want to wax my testicles?"

Why ask me? I don't have any. I personally am a natural kind of girl, so how they are is how I personally like them on others, but I'd say it is up to you. Wanting your testicles waxed does not make you crazy, I don't think. I'm not sure the girl at the spa who does bikini waxes will take on testicles, so I suggest you call ahead to make sure.


And thanks for visiting one and all.