I Didn’t Buy the Damn Panties and I Don’t Wear Size Large and I Wouldn’t Pay $18 for a Pair of Panties even if I Could Afford it!
I get an email on an email account I rarely use telling me my order (?) had been received:
Dear Mary,
Thank you for shopping at XXXXXXXX.
Your order no. XXXXXXX has been received.
Order Summary:
Item
Qty
Description
Options
Price
Total
Cosabella Soire
$18.00
Cosabella Soire
$36.00
Cosabella Soire
$36.00
Cosabella Soire
$36.00
Tax 0.00
Total $126.00
I respond to the email and tell them that it is not I who has ordered these panties and they have sent this receipt to the wrong email address.
They email me back saying that it is my email address that they have on file.
I email them back and tell them that the email address they have on file is incorrect.
They email me back that they double checked it and the person who ordered the panties used my email address.
I tell them it is an error.
They write me back and say okay. Then add “could you please clarify to whom this should really be going to, that would be great!"
“FYI - This order will go out next week.”
FYI to them: This order should be going to someone who has a large ass.
And you informed me about shipping because…?
Like I care? It implies they think I am joshing with them. That I have placed an order and for some reason, want them to believe they sent it to the wrong person. That I have inside information about who really did place the order that I’m keeping secret.
How many times and in how many ways do I say they have the wrong email address before they catch on?
I should take a picture of my ass and send it to them so they’d see Large Panties would fall down to my knees!
Maybe then they’d believe me when I say they have the wrong email address.
posted by mary bishop | 11:06 AM
11 Comments:
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Well not that small, Dashababy, but when they were passing out junk for the trunk I must have been home sick.
cute ;)
They almost look like long boobs.
They do...in a tank top...I have a neighbor who looks like that.
I'm five feet tall Sangroncito...large would hang down to my knees! Your recent photos are magnificent! I tried to leave a comment but it wouldn't stick for some reason...
Now, I want to hear what happens when the panties arrive at your place. Maybe you have a secret admirer who isn't very good at judging clothing size?
Well, Mary, I have a large, flat ass. If they send you the undies, I'd be happy to take them off your knees.
Er, hands.
Metaphorically.
Nevermind. None of that came out right.
Kimananda, it looks like the only information that's wrong on the order is the email address. I believe the panties will be flying their way to Texas this week. But the poor woman isn't aware of it because I get all her emails!
Kitsune, I'm glad to see your wit is as sharp as ever! Now if I were a person of "largesse" I would look up her phone number and tell her that her shipment is coming..alas, I have no largesse and no large ass.
AMK - I am queen of the bony butt; owner of the sparse arse and plagued by my bitty buns. Boobs are a whole other story, which makes buying clothes difficult at best.
Summer...it's a good thing I've seen a picture of you and know how lovely you look as your self-descriptions are terrible. Large flat ass?
No way.
(whew) It worked. OK, so now you need to mail the panties to my girlfriend. I guessed at the size - she wears a size 4 in pants, so I just counted up from 1. Extra Small, 2. Small, 3. Medium, and 4. Large. She says she sometimes wears a 6, but they didn't have those in the store I was in.
So, good. We're all set. Pay the bill, and I'm good for it next time I see ya.
Nilbo...I wondered how long you could stay away from my panties blog entry!
Your reasoning on sizes is why most women never wear what their men buy them...the size is way off!
Thank god the bill went to the woman who doesn't know her panties are in the mail...
marybishop said...
Nilbo...I wondered how long you could stay away from my panties.
Well, we all did.
Nilbo, it was funny how that line broke...
I just treated myself to five minutes with your Flickr photos - just beautiful.
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