Moving on...
Someone said to me yesterday, “What can we do to honor the people who died on 9/11?”
It was a rhetorical question so I didn’t reply, but what I wanted to say was: Drive better. If every American would just drive better in honor of 9/11 we’d be a better country.
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I woke up thinking about childhood misconceptions I had, and I’d love to hear yours. Here’s a few I was thinking of:
1) I thought only females played the piano. Then when I was around 4, I saw my first male piano player and wondered what was up with that. Prior to seeing this guy play, every person I’d ever seen play the piano was a female so I thought playing the piano was like playing with dolls – a girl thing.
2) I also thought there were quite a few angry apes out in the world. It seemed like newscasters were always talking about gorillas killing innocent people…only later did I realize it was guerillas.
3) When I was about 3, I thought male ballet dancers were dancing in the nude. Those skin-hugging tights looked like bare buns and legs to me as I wasn’t schooled in genitalia.
4) One of THE biggest misconceptions I ever had was about food. I thought eggs came from cardboard boxes and bacon came from plastic pouches and chicken breasts came from the back of the butcher shop.
Then came kindergarten when Billy Boman told me milk came from cow boobies. He went on to explain where every single thing in my lunchbox had come from and I wanted to barf and never eat again.
Once I learned what I was really eating I had a hard time. I refused all food except cereal and bread. Eventually I got over myself --but to this day, not completely. If I think too much about what I’m eating, I lose the joy of it all.
5) I thought nuns were the priest’s wives. I also thought they must have all been pretty ugly or why would they cover themselves up from head to toe?
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I am going to the dentist today. In the past I would be creating my excuse to back out. “My car won’t start; I’m getting a cold, can’t come. My house is on fire and I have to stay home to put it out.” Etc.
But because I love and trust my dentist Dr. Edward Kozinn, I am happy to go! I will never forget how I found him, how he emailed me back with soothing words and took the time to call me on the phone to let me know he’d help me get over my phobia in any way he possibly could. He’s a hero to me!
posted by mary bishop | 8:31 AM
10 Comments:
Funny girl! I was just thinking about my misconceptions as a child yesterday, talking about kindegarten. Here are a couple of mine:
I envisioned summer vacation as literally, laying on your bed relaxing the entire summer with a slight breeze in the window.
I thought that people on TV commercials were real families and I wanted to know how we could get in on the action.
I was told that babies came from a man peeing inside of the woman by Russell Ford. He was the initiator in all things sexual, his being the first ding-a-ling I saw in a game of show n' tell.
I remember thinking that b*stard was a male dog. It seemed the appropriate counterpart to b*tch. And then when i called my brother one in front of my parents, man did my dad flip out... :)
Great post Mary!!
Somehow I knew about the guerillas. I was a good listener even when I was a toddler. And I was scared S#$%!@%S! I was terrifird they were going to surround our house and take off with my mom and dad and leave us alone. I wish I had thought they were apes.
One of my biggest misconceptions was that I thought being an adult was going to be GREAT! I mean, they go out to glamourous parties, stay up late, dress up for holidays. Have really cool jobs. I thought it was going to be amazing to be older.
mary thank you again for making me laugh.
Such a cute post. I thought the exact same thing about priests and nuns!
AMK - I thought families on tv shows were real...can't quire remember about the commercials, but I was astounded when I found out the kids weren't the parents real kids and the parents on tv weren't really married.
I would give anything to have seen your expression when Russell Ford gave you that lesson on sex education. hahaha
Ilanna, I think Webster et al should change the meaning of bastard as I like your definition better than the one we all know. Clever Ilanna!
PG - I too thought being grown up meant you could do anything you wanted to anytime you wanted to. Boy, was I in for a surprise!!
Jackie...glad you had a laugh, we all need one after yesterday.
LB - hey nice to see you!! Priests always hung out with nuns, they whispered together and the priest would defend the nun if we were being fresh...but there was the other problem too of family identity -- the priests were called father and the nuns were called sister and that was a bit strange...where were the mothers and the brothers?
[Actually, it wasn't a rhetorical question at all, but no one answered it - so they must have all thought the same that you did.]
This is an amusing post. I am trying to remember the wacky things I though growing up. Actually, I still have a lot of those OHHHHHHHH, so THAT's why they call it a __________.
brothers are monks -
and mothers are the head of convents... but as kids you wouldnt really have known that would you ;)
Sheryl I am still doing the "so that's where that expression came from". I wish I could remmeber it was just a few days ago and the lightbulb went off...on an expression -- what oh what was that? If I can remember I'll post it.
Jackie how right you are, but, no uncles and aunts, right?
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