"For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it."
Ivan Panin (Russian mathematician1855-1942)


Gothamimage.blogspot.com had an interesting post this morning on female beauty.

Laurenbove.blogspot.com also had a recent post on her glutes, which she felt were blooming without benefit of fertilizer.

They got me thinking about female beauty and what is it? Who’s got it? How to get it? And, is it me, or do most women suffer from body dysmorphic disorder?

When did arms that look like they belong on a wiry Frenchman become the in thing? When did breasts have to sit up in perfectly round, non-moving orbs upon a visibly ribbed, rib cage? When did an arse have to be the size it’s not --to be the *right* size?

Okay enough questions. Tell me what you think and I’ll tell you my thoughts.

I have the benefit of being married to a most honest man. We talk about everything and he always gives me the male perspective. For example: he told me that the sexiest thing about a woman is when *she* feels she’s sexy. A real turn on. This by the way has nothing to do with the size of her boobs or her butt, but her ego instead.

Leaving out attitude and personality though, and going straight for looks, who’s responsible for women’s attitudes toward their bodies? Lots of women will blame men…but I think it has nothing to do with men and all to do with women wanting to please themselves by altering their appearance until they resemble Barbie.

I think it’s all Barbie’s fault.

No, this isn’t an original opinion, I’m sure many people have blamed Barbie for today's super skinny, fake boobed, blubber lipped, liposucked women that you see, especially on island beaches.

Really, it’s not all Barbie, although she might have inspired a few little girls to grow up with a desire for proportions that defy physics and cannot be equaled by human females.

It’s got to be something in the woman herself. Something that makes a female feel unattractive, until she takes off stuff and adds on stuff till she sees something in the mirror that she likes.

Maybe Mrs. Potato Head is responsible?


Chin implants – wow...used to be that a “strong” chin was a man’s characteristic. Today it is one of the most often performed cosmetic surgeries. We all have to look like Arnold or we aren’t happy.

Bigger, better boobs - why? Fake boobs feel fake. As my husband says, why stop at the boobs, why not a whole fake woman? Why would two toilet-plunger rounds sticking out from a fleshless rib cage be better than the ones we grow naturally?

This whole lip explosion…my least favorite cosmetic surgery of all. The lips are plumped up into Pillsbury doughboy proportions, losing all edges until they appear to be tumors rather that lips.

They’re lumpy and non-symmetrical almost hemmorhoidal– and I’d be afraid, if I were a man, to kiss those things…perhaps like the Blob they’d just ingest you and you’d have to live the rest of your life hidden in those fleshy floppers, barely breathing due to the asphalt-like cover of Ruby Red lip gloss.

(Speaking of lip gloss, okay it’s not surgery but it ranks high as one of the wonders of the world. Why do lips have to look like they’ve been dipped in olive oil to be attractive? Must one’s lips glisten to that extreme? I’m surprised there aren’t more cutlery accidents, with slimy lips sliding off of forks and spoons and colliding with other tableware.)

Botox – let’s see, it’s a good thing to remove any hint of character or emotion from a face?

I’ve seen the botoxees. They look like zombies.

They can’t express anything but ennui. Ennui is a big one.. other than that – they are reduced to shouting out letters from the alphabet like LOL, LMAO because god knows we could never tell if they were laughing or even happy or sad or actually, even if they were choking to death, we wouldn’t know.

The botox face is devoid of expression, very similar to the visage of someone who’s had a lobotomy. Who knows, maybe the botoxers perform that operation at the same time they’re removing all signs of life from the face of the botoxee.

The most beautiful face in the world --to me --was my mother's, lined with smile wrinkles, tiny little female chin, short gray spiky hair, blue periwinkle eyes with short uncolored lashes…that truly was the most beautiful face I’ve ever seen.

But I know we're talking about female's view of their own bodies and faces, not the real faces and bodies we've loved in the past. And we're talking about what women think men like, not what most men really find attractive in a woman's body, like curves and roundness rather than cut and angular.

Still, no matter what you do, surgery or no surgery, the aging processs cannot be stopped. That's why intelligent women always seem to find mates whether they are beautiful or not.

In the words of Judge Judy: Beauty fades . . . but dumb is forever.