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Monday, March 28, 2005

Mrs. Malaprop and the Easter Bunny

The Easter Bunny left me a package of Cadbury Cream Eggs on my windshield last night – I have become a believer and will heretofore put out carrots for said Easter Bunny on all future Easters.
*****
My friends and family are a bunch of word freaks. We all love to play with words, dig up unused words and make them popular again in our little group. We like to be silly with words, the only way to say it. So it didn’t take long before one of us started the Happy Estrus greeting. This got me thinking about a woman I once knew who could misuse words better than anyone I’ve ever known. And, she could do this without even a hint of knowing that she was misusing the words.

She was and is the queen of malapropisms.

Etymology: Mrs. Malaprop, character noted for her misuse of words in R. B. Sheridan's comedy The Rivals (1775)
Date: 1849
1 : the usually unintentionally humorous misuse or distortion of a word or phrase; especially : the use of a word sounding somewhat like the one intended but ludicrously wrong in the context


Here’s a few examples of malapropisms, collected from a single source I’ll call Lisa:

1) “How do you like my kitchen curtains? I made them myself out of muslims.”

2) “Jan’s behavior has been so strange lately. One minute she says one thing and the next she says the complete opposite. She’s so erotic lately I don’t know what she wants.”

3) And the reverse of number 2, “I watched a movie last night that had nude scenes and was so erratic I had to shut it off.”

4) “They took a vote and it was anonymous, no one voted against the appointment.”

5) Reverse: “I got this email signed by unanimous.”

6) She’s also been inflatuated with Tom Cruise; had to call AA because her car didn’t start; had a cavity in her molder and also had to have several molds removed from her back. She will tell you that her sister had a hysteremectomy and her husband had a vascillectomy. Medical terms mystify her.

It was hard not to laugh when she told me she had her cat nuttered and her dog spaded!

Oh the visuals…

2 Comments:

Blogger Susie said...

oh, you're my grrrl! I love these things. Imagine that someone is PAYING you to listen to this, and pouring out her heart to you... I recently had clients say to me:
(this one was an 82-year-old lady) "Charles and I have a wonderful relationship -- strictly Potomac, you understand..."

and another:
"My husband is SOOOO dogmatic! I can't stand it anymore."

"Dogmatic? How so?"

"Oh, he'll chase anything in a skirt!"

You see, you and I didn't know this, but dogmatic means "like a dawg!"

Comments are still very temperamental. Hope you have a good day. I also hope laurenbove's husband reppazints today. If not, maybe there should be the first organized blogworld spousal asskicking intervention...whaddya think?

9:00 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Oh how I love the Potomac relatonship!...I am trying to type but it's hard when you're laughing your ass off (where do you sit minus an ass?)

Dogmatic? Oh, I thought that was what you called those little robot dogs that walk and bark and wag their tails...

Keep me updated on these jewels if you can...I love Mrs. Malaprop.

10:19 AM  

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