Dear Reflectopornographers,

Very cute idea to display your family jewels on window, mirror, TV and even teapot reflections. I wonder how many reflectoporn pictures you slipped by in online auctions and other public, not pubic, areas of the internet where one can publish photos.

I don’t mean to be rude, and I’m no prude, but really, you just have to buff up before you show it all. The belly hang visible on the famous “kettle” photo is unappealing. The “man in the mirror” looks prepubescent and virtually hairless, except for the rest of his aging body. Not that I have anything against aging bodies, but you really should reflect on your reflection before you capture it on a shiny surface.

I am not criticizing your abilities as a photographer or pornographer, but I think, for the shape you’re in, you are totally over-exposed.

If you think you are turning women on…please reconsider. Women think most of these photos are an F stop and shutter when they see them.

Let me be candid, cameras weren’t meant to be pointed at your apertures. You flash --then wait to see what develops.

Frankly, from what I’ve seen, you need an enlarger. I was not impressed with either your focal point or focal length.

I’ve found the experience of coming across reflectopornography as negative. With time, exposure to these photos will lose their punch. But remember, we’d prefer if you kept your tripod to yourself.

How transparent can you be? We all know these photos are a precursor to the digital manipulation you have planned to coincide with the publishing of your raw photos.

You need time out in a dark room, because the lens of my eye says these photos belong in a scrap heap not a scrapbook.

And to the extremely hirsute man who looked more bear than bare, your Kodiac moment did not make me tear up although I did cry:

EWWWWWWWWW.