My Beliefs

I have no problem with teaching Creationism (Adam and Eve) or Intelligent Design (a god, devil or an alien created life on the earth) in schools, providing other historical and traditional theories are also taught.

It is absolutely necessary that we provide diversity in our quest for rational discourse on man’s beginning and bring to the table all the theories, sciences and pseudosciences presented in reference to just how in hell we got here, not just those favored by the fundamentalists, Christianists, or ET lovers.

Therefore, I present my personal favorite on humankind’s origins and demand that my views are respected also.

My belief is the very well-loved, traditional and thought provoking theory of the stork.

“In many lands the stork's presence was a sign of good luck and prosperity, and people encouraged them to build their nests on their rooftops. The belief was also common that they loved the water and visited swamps and lakes frequently. Ancient traditions held that the souls of unborn children dwelt in these watery places. So it was easy to link the beliefs and traditions of years past to the wonderful white bird with eyeglasses and a top hat and jacket as the one who lovingly delivered beautiful babies.” (http://www.storknews.com/)


“In Victorian times the details of human reproduction were a difficult subject to approach, especially in reply to a child's query of "Where did I come from?"; "The stork brought you to us" was the tactic used to avoid discussion of sex. This habit was derived from the once popular superstition that storks were the harbingers of happiness and prosperity. The image of a stork bearing an infant wrapped in a sling held in its beak is common in popular culture. The small pink or reddish patches often found on a newborn child's eyelids, between the eyes, upper lip, and the nape of the neck, which are clusters of developing veins that soon fade, are sometimes still called "stork bites".” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stork)


Just to show you I am not a Stork fundamentalist and have open opinions on matters such as these, I also am a believer in the Cabbage Patch theory of life’s beginnings.

We all know people who have had children that look nothing like their parents. Another example to ponder is heterosexual parents who end up with a child who is homosexual. How can this be – this “unnatural” selection?

Of course, the Cabbage Patch theory becomes more credible when we realize that people select their children from a huge cabbage patch and often times pick one that doesn’t appear to look like them at all or despite the parents’ heterosexual lifestyle, the parents end up rearing children that just cannot be recruited or abide by the heterosexual agenda.

The stork and the cabbage patch work in mysterious ways. Sometimes the only answers for the things we don’t understand are held in the beak of a stork or a garden of cabbages.

If we are told we must accept pseudo-science as a “theory” in one case, than we must in the other.

(Oh no, don’t shake that DNA finger at me. We either are going with DNA or dumping it all together.

O.J. Simpson had all the DNA evidence in the world to convict him of double murder, but he’s out golfing thanks to the smart people on the jury who weren’t going to believe in the science of DNA.)

In summary, the theories of Stork-creation and Cabbage Patch creation deserve attention and study and our children need to know all the theories involved with the beginnings of life.

There is solid scientific evidence that storks have been seen near the homes of women prior to the advent of a new baby and studies have proved that there are cabbage leaves large enough to shelter an infant. Believe me folks, this is not just storkma.

If we are to believe that supernatural causes are the reason for life on earth, then certainly we can believe in the stork and cabbage patch theories where hard evidence is available to this day for study and reflection.

One can observe the stork and the cabbages, but one cannot observe the god or gods, or aliens attributed to Intelligent Design, ergo I insist my religious and scientific beliefs are included in any and all Biology classes from this day forward.