And She's Out!

I bent over to pick up my newspaper, the string on my sweats untied and I ended up half-mooning my neighbors. This is not a good way to start the day.

What happened next is just a replay of a past occurrence; the cat knocked over my coffee cup dumping hot coffee on my newly retied sweats…and of course the newspaper, floor, table, my Velcro slippers etc.

The Goldens are shedding so much that in the process of cleaning up the coffee, I stepped on a wad of blond dog fur which propelled me forward and I slid into first; first being the wrought iron gate I have between my kitchen and dining room.

I’ve been up for about five minutes now and have exposed my derriere, had coffee dumped on me and acquired a pretty little bruise on my shin.

I get situated, paper dried off, shin retreating into pain rather than agony, floor et all cleaned up and I notice my answering machine is blinking.

I hate phones but I know they are necessary so I have one. I hate listening to messages because they are seldom light and breezy but usually commands and complaints. Anyhow, I take the plunge to listen to the messages I missed (I actually left the house for about six hours yesterday!) and there’s a message from a friend:

Hey, I called you twice. Where are you? Did you go away or something? Are you on vacation without telling me? Call me back as soon as you get this.

The rest of the message is more questions and orders being barked at me.

I grab my coffee (two hands) and take a few sips and realize I am going to be late for my breakfast date with friends if I do much more than brush my teeth and hair..I do this quickly and am headed out the door when I slide into second; second being the back door. No major injuries this time.

Once out of the house I put my top down (car) and get on the road. My music is playing, hair blowing in the breeze and I’m tooling down the road thinking: I made it out okay and in one piece.

Get to the restaurant, park the care, get out and slip on a candy bar wrapper and slide into third; third being the stone trash receptacle in front of the restaurant.

Again no injuries but I feel like all of the flat surfaces on the earth have turned into Slip ‘N’ Slides.

I got back a few minutes ago. Feeling perky and happy. Open my back door and step inside to take another ride on dog hair into home; home being just that, home.

Sometimes life is a hell of a game!