The Sound of Silence
I woke up to the sound of the birds chirping and the dog barfing…not the most pleasant way to wake up.
But I did sleep the whole night in peace and quiet due to Breathe Right Throat Spray. Love those Breathe Right people. Don’t know how they do it, but contained in the sprayer is a snore smotherer.
It really works. It not only stops the big snores, it stops those poof poof sounds that can make me as crazy as a big loud, growling snore.
My bed is my own again.
I don’t fear going to bed knowing that my beloved’s mouth will end up inches from my ear and I will be kept awake listening to the sounds he can create in the night.
Not any more!
No bed jiggling; no “get on your side” shouts; no leaving the bed for the couch; no built up resentment towards the poor man who has no idea he’s making audible sounds in his sleep.
And so they lived happily ever after…
I woke up to the sound of the birds chirping and the dog barfing…not the most pleasant way to wake up.
But I did sleep the whole night in peace and quiet due to Breathe Right Throat Spray. Love those Breathe Right people. Don’t know how they do it, but contained in the sprayer is a snore smotherer.
It really works. It not only stops the big snores, it stops those poof poof sounds that can make me as crazy as a big loud, growling snore.
My bed is my own again.
I don’t fear going to bed knowing that my beloved’s mouth will end up inches from my ear and I will be kept awake listening to the sounds he can create in the night.
Not any more!
No bed jiggling; no “get on your side” shouts; no leaving the bed for the couch; no built up resentment towards the poor man who has no idea he’s making audible sounds in his sleep.
And so they lived happily ever after…
posted by mary bishop | 11:17 AM
25 Comments:
E --I just deleted anon's stupid ad - I hate to delete anything and I really hate the word verification process because I usually screw it up and then have to redo and redo till I get my commnent accepted, but I'm beginning to think I might have to add WV to my blog if they keep it up.
I'm getting lots of Spam now, but usually in old posts so it doesn't bother me that much.
Today, though, first post a stupid ad? Grrrr I put him in the trash and it felt good.
Which does prove a point, my crankiness in the morning can not be blamed on a poor night's sleep!
I think this post sounds like spam.
If it is I suggest you drop the barfing dog. That's the best marketing tip I can offer.
Very Very funny Sylow...how true...the only thing is I don't compliment myself on my blog...Spammers always compliment you and promise to bookmark your blog...I didn't do that to myself.
Never tried the stuff.
Oh, the woes of sleeping next to someone. Mine hasn't been snoring much lately. Actually since he started sleeping next to the window.....hmmmm.
I'm glad they've FINALLY made a product that works.
I wake up to the sounds of my dog barfing too! He's old and likes to eat rocks and dirt. Such a gross way to wake up. When you find a cure for that, let me know.
Glad you got some sleep.
I wake up to the sounds of my cat puking. She always bites off bamboo leaves and sicks them up undigested all over the place. : (
This is another example where duct tape would work as well.
There are so many uses for that product!
Samantha...keep it in mind, you never know when you're going to be trapped in a room with a snorer!
Acumama, I'm wondering about sleeping near the window, wonder if the fresh air helps...
Dashababy, would that there was an anti-barf spray..I've got 4 animals I'd spray every night, just in case!
Irina, Bamboo? Sophisticated kitty I'd say...
JDJ - you made me laugh...I have actually thought of duct tape back in the days of no sleep...I did hallucinate from time to time...
Wow MB, you and LB have had the same perdicament.
I'm so happy to be alone, or kick out anyone who wishes to cuddle after sex.
Hey WenigGluckliches!
I say cuddle before sex; snack after sex...like peanut butter and crackers.
I agree. I need the foreplay anyway. Let's get the cuddling and touching done before the sweat and vaginal secretions start to fly!
You slay me WenigGluckliches!
Sometimes I wake up to the sound of my cat hurling up a hairball...that is lovely...My wife sometimes will wake herself up with a good loud snore.
I am sure I make funny noises..but I am sleeping...so who knows :)
Bradley
The Egel Nest
jeeze mb: weniggluckliches (god, I almost have the spelling memorized) is right! We DO have the same predicament.
I hhhhhaaaate it. Hate. It's so bad that I actually have PTSD over it. He doesn't even have to snore, but merely move in bed and I'm up worried his schnoz is near my ear...
I will get this spray if I have to give out free sex to pay for it. (JK?) I really have to have it. Is it readily available? Hmm? Send me some for 2night please? I really need some sleep.
"Flying vaginal secretions" would make an excellent title for something. Weniggluckliches, get on it!
Irina: Move the plant!
Bradley: Girls don't snore, poop or sweat. Got it?
sylow: You are too damn funny!
dashababy: Rocks? Sounds more like a crockadile than a dog!
jdj: I've thought of that but the sticky residue would bother me when we kiss which doesn't happen that much so...I'll try it tonight and let ya'll know how it went.
MB - trying waking up at 3am to the dog puking *ON* you in bed... :) that was fun to say the least. :)
Hope you had a good vacation btw (i just got back from mine so haven't been reading) but congrats on the snoring thing. My husband (still not used to that term) clacks his teeth in his sleep... no sprays for that. (sigh)
So glad to hear you've been sleeping well.
I hate when the cat is throwing up at 4 and the dog has to jump off the bed to go see what good things the cat is up to. They drive me crazy....!
"Flying Vaginal Secretions"
i can picture it now...
(Pun intendid.)
Bradley, I stopped a lot of hairball activity with this tube from the vets (looks like toothpaste and smells like tuna)...you put a drop on the cats tongue and it solves hairball problems... You could give your wife some Breathe Right Spray for her birthday...but I wouldn't if I were you!
Hey LB - "Flying vaginal secretions" would make an excellent title for something. Weniggluckliches, get on it! Now that's a funny line...come on Weniggluckiches, write the book.
It could be about a girl super hero who likes to exclaim: Flying Vaginal Secretions! We've lost our brakes Superman!
Ilanna - oh no, a teeth clacker! All you can do is get him a rubber retainer...attractive!
Dog puking on you in bed is probably the worst one yet..my bed's so tall my dogs can't get on it...so I'm pretty happy about that.
Paintergirl, what's with dogs great interest in cat puke? Mine monitor the litter box and run to the cats if they hear that MEOOOOOW that means..I'm going to hurl in about 30 seconds.
It can be a superhero chic with a defense mechanism. she bends at the knees and "spits in their eye."
of course she'd have to have great directional skills, but hey she's a superhero right?
You would think the cats were warfing up dog cookies. and the cat never throws up during the day, no.
WenigGluckliches - sorry, meant batman not superman...but you do have the female super hero down...bend at the knee and spit in the eye..hilarious!!!
PG you get the award for most clever cat vomit comment...
You would think the cats were warfing up dog cookies.
I am dying laughing.......so true!
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