Crazy Things I Think About
A good pastrami sandwich is better than a good steak, but not better than an excellent steak.
Slippers are inherently ugly things. They always have spots and stains and only look nice and fluffy the first day you wear them.
There should be no metal parts in a bra. There are no metal parts in an undershirt or boxers, ergo men will never know what it’s like to have metal next to their skin, unless someone starts making jock straps with underwires and metal clips. They still sell those gym slings, don’t they?
Watching old people I’ve noticed that there are two schools of thought as to where to put a waistband. One group likes over the bump and up into the armpit area while the other group favors the low slung under the bump style. Under the bump is definitely the way to go in my opinion. (Occasionally you can find someone who can get that belt to stay around the equator…which is the Humpty Dumpty look, another look I’d not select if I were them.)
The uglier the shoe, the more comfortable it is and vice versa.
Women with long, beautiful, polished, nails, touch things in a funny manner with all their fingers straight as if in invisible splints. These are the same women who you’d never ask to do anything that would require the formation of a bend in those perfectly straight fingers. Which is probably the reason why their fingernails look so pristine.
A good pastrami sandwich is better than a good steak, but not better than an excellent steak.
Slippers are inherently ugly things. They always have spots and stains and only look nice and fluffy the first day you wear them.
There should be no metal parts in a bra. There are no metal parts in an undershirt or boxers, ergo men will never know what it’s like to have metal next to their skin, unless someone starts making jock straps with underwires and metal clips. They still sell those gym slings, don’t they?
Watching old people I’ve noticed that there are two schools of thought as to where to put a waistband. One group likes over the bump and up into the armpit area while the other group favors the low slung under the bump style. Under the bump is definitely the way to go in my opinion. (Occasionally you can find someone who can get that belt to stay around the equator…which is the Humpty Dumpty look, another look I’d not select if I were them.)
The uglier the shoe, the more comfortable it is and vice versa.
Women with long, beautiful, polished, nails, touch things in a funny manner with all their fingers straight as if in invisible splints. These are the same women who you’d never ask to do anything that would require the formation of a bend in those perfectly straight fingers. Which is probably the reason why their fingernails look so pristine.
posted by mary bishop | 1:41 PM
15 Comments:
Not so crazy I say. All very good points to which I agree except for if I have long polished fingernails my husband would definitley expect me to something which requires bending of the fingers. He loves those long polished hooker nails. Eh, too much work to have lovely nails. :)
My crazy thought is: why do they make the print in phone books & newspapers so small but when I was six yrs old learning to read, the print was HUGE! Somebody got it backwards.
Dashababy, I never thought of that but it's so true - our eyes are fine at 6 but kids get to read large print books while as we age we'd love larger type indeed.
Why I wear glasses...
My crazy thought is - a good beer is better than bad wine, but never better than good wine. Bad beer is simply unacceptable. :) You can tell where my mind is with the end of my last workday of the week approaching. Unfortunately, I still have school tonight (and one class tomorrow night) but... man, I want that beer. Or wine. Or both. Just not bad.
Echrai -- I agree on the wine/beer comment - so true...
Hmmm now I'm getting thirsty. Should I have one for you?
I liked reading this, especially the waistband comment. I love seeing old men with their pants hiked up there. Me, I have to have it low because that encumbered waist/bra area, is too constricting.
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I take pride in my slippers' ugliness, and stains, and worn and ragged parts. Slippers are meant to be that way. I mistrust anyone with clean slippers - they do not know how to relax, says I.
I don't get the metal in the bra thing. I have never understood why women (or is it men?) require breasts to be cantilevered and shimmed and airlifted. God, let 'em loose and be comfortable - is anything sexier than someone who is comfortable in their own skin?
I also have never understood the whole fingernail fetish some women have. I adore a woman with short, clean, well-kept but not "showroom condition" fingernails. Excessive time spent on exterior details means less time spent on the interior. And that's where beauty starts. Sorry, girls, but it's true.
What do women with long nails chew on when they get nervous?
AMK - The only men I've ever seen who can pull off the equator waist -- they all had a stogie in their mouths and were local politicians. Somehow that combo worked for me.
Oh Nils, will you marry me? (Loved the boob comment)
T Veblen would say those long fingernails are encouraged if not required by men who need to show the world they are so wealthy their women don't have to do anything but sit up and take fluids.
Marie...the nails get near the teeth, but there never is real chewing - who could chew through so much acrylic?
Nail chewing ??
Ladies only ???
Fake nails are creepy! My crazy thought is, what happens to fake boobs when women die? Do they decompose? Will future archeologists find piles of plastic and silicone in the graves of times past? Will they believe there was a third race of mutant people who were part human and part plastic? Am I the only one who ponders such things?
MB -
So damn funny...
You and I share some interesting observations..that is both funny and scary!
Bradley
The Egel Nest
Jac - your nails look good, so does your quill!
Michelle, I never thought of the little piles of plastic boobs that some day might seem very silly to the archeologists of the future. I love how your mind works!
Summer...great comment. I also wonder how women with overly long plastic nails open a beer can. I guess they don't drink beer.
Bradley - Another one I thought up this morning: if plain brown sparrows are at my feeder, nothing happens to scare them away, but let one yellow finch land, and the blinds fall down or the dogs rush the window where the feeder is. Why?
Definitely under the bump for the waistband.
And I actually find a GOOD QUALITY underwire bra to be very comfortable. As long as fabric remains between the metal and my skin.
Also, I heart Nilbo. His wife is a lucky lady.
Ern...that's my problem, no matter what I kind of underwire I buy, they seem to end up feeling like piano wire...
I'm going to have to research brands.
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