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Sunday, March 26, 2006

How Grandma and Ann ended up in the Closet


It was a Saturday in August 1933 and the temperatures were well over 95 degrees.

Grandma and Grandpa were only married a little over six months, but a lot had happened in those six months. Grandma’s appendix had burst when they were only married a few weeks and after surgery she developed a bad infection that kept her from working. Grandma and Grandpa were just about to split up when Grandpa found the money in the down pillow in the attic of their first apartment. This windfall kept them together and their love began to grow.

So there was bad and good in their young marriage, but now it was all good.

They had just moved to a darling apartment with big bright windows and a front porch. Grandpa was paying the bills and Grandma was just about recovered from her health problems.

The new apartment was in a complex where their good friends Harry and Ann Bolton lived. Harry had been Grandpa’s friend since they both lived in the orphanage as children and Ann and Grandma soon became best friends.

Although they didn’t have enough money to go to the movies or out to dinner, the two young couples played cards at least once a week.

Harry, himself, was a “card” Grandma said, and he’d always come up with a practical joke or funny story to keep them laughing. Ann was reserved and would pinch her lips and shake her head at him when he pulled one of his stunts, but it was obvious she adored him.

So on this very hot day, the two young couples were playing cards and drinking gin and tonics with ice chipped from the block in the icebox.

Grandma said you could watch the sweat form on their brows and drip down their faces. The men used their white handkerchiefs to dry their faces while the women used their tiny, crocheted hankies for the same purpose.

In those days, women wore “foundations” Grandma said, and stockings attached to their rubber-like girdles. Then on top of their bras and girdles and stockings, women also wore full slips. “We used to wear more things under our clothing than you wear out to the grocery store today,” Grandma said.

On top of the full slip each woman wore a summer dress and it was bloody uncomfortable this day when the air refused to move and a moving fan was a luxury they didn’t own.

It was Harry who got the idea and whispered to Grandpa what to do. Between card games, the men made an excuse to go in the basement, and when they came up, each man was wearing his boxer shorts and only his boxer shorts. They had taken off their trousers and undershirts and paraded into the kitchen in their boxers and nothing else!

Grandma and Ann blushed and laughed and shook their fingers at the men…but it did make sense. The heat was unbearable and Grandma assured us you couldn’t see anything with lots of emphasis on anything. Not that she stared at that “area”, she said in all seriousness.

When the men got up to mix drinks and change the radio station, the women whispered together and created their own excuse to leave the room. Quickly they scrambled into Grandma’s bedroom and took off their dresses and stockings – now standing in front of the mirror in only their girdles, bras and full slips, they felt impish enough to surprise the men and come out in their lingerie.

Grandma said full slips covered everything...just like a dress. The straps were wide, the neck was high, the fabric opaque and the slips came down past their knees.

Still, it was a gutsy move on the women’s part and let’s face it, a bit risqué for the time, but the gin and tonics, relentless heat and the freshness of the men to strip down to their skivvies bolstered the women’s courage and they scampered back into the kitchen giggling like school girls --waiting to see the men’s reactions.

Naturally, the men loved it. There was much laughter –especially at Grandma who, losing courage as they approached the kitchen, had grabbed an apron off a hook and held the apron in front of her chest.

Soon, everyone was through laughing and the sight of two men in boxers and two women in full slips lost its impact and the card game began again in earnest.

Then the door bell rang.

Grandma and Ann were frantic. Who was at the door? All the shades in the house were pulled down to keep out the sun and they couldn’t see out just as no one could see in.

Grandpa said: "Quick go in the closet and I’ll see who it is and get rid of 'em."

Grandma wonders why on earth she and Ann didn’t retreat back into the bedroom, but they did what he said, piled into the front hall closet where there was enough room for two small women to stand among the coats and umbrellas.

They stifled giggles at the thought of being forced into a closet and waited for Grandpa to answer the door, which he did.

Then they couldn’t believe their ears. The person at the door was Ralph, one of Grandpa and Harry’s friends and Harry the jokester was inviting him in for a long cool icy gin and tonic.

Grandma waited for Grandpa to come up with something to tell Ralph that would send him on his way, but instead Grandpa was telling Ralph to come in too.

“What a hell of a hot day, huh Ralph?” said Grandpa loudly. “How about that gin and tonic? A nice icy drink, you know you want one.”

Grandma and Ann were not dying from the heat yet, but both of them were furious at the thought they’d have to stay in the closet while the three men had a drink or else come marching out in their slips which would label them as women of ill repute at best.

So they stayed in the closet sweating and swearing under their breath while the men laughed and clinked their ice chips in their highball glasses.

Grandma says they weren’t in the closet for more than a half hour but it seemed like a day.

It was Grandpa who told Ralph he had to leave –making up some lame excuse-- and as soon as the front door closed out came Ann and Grandma, hotter than hell and madder than a hatter.

On hearing this story we said, “Grandma, you were really something weren’t you? I’ll bet you wanted to kill Grandpa and Harry for pulling that joke on you.”

“Oh yes,” she said, “Ann and I couldn’t believe they encouraged Ralph to come in, knowing we were sweating in the closet. It wasn’t one of Harry’s funniest jokes, I’ll tell you, although Grandpa and Harry laughed about it for years.”

“So if it was that hot, why didn’t you and Ann take off all those undergarments you had on, especially those rubber girdles…and just wear your summer dresses with little or nothing underneath, wouldn’t you have been cooler that way?”

“Really, now…girls! No self-respecting lady would remove her underclothing and then slip on a dress. For heaven’s sake, just what are you thinking?” Grandma replied.

What we were thinking was it would have been lots cooler and they wouldn’t have had to dive for the nearest closet when they heard a knock on the door.

But Grandma didn’t see it that way.

“You wore a girdle from the minute you woke up till the minute you went to bed. That’s how it was back then; and women today would get in a lot less trouble if they did the same thing. Those damned girdles were miserable to get on and miserable to get off.”

Oh how we wanted to laugh but knowing Grandma, we had to keep our nonchalant demeanor, or she’d be sorry she even told us the story and we lived to hear about her life and adventures.

We’ve laughed about this story for years. But, even now when I laugh, and even knowing Grandma is long deceased, I look around as if Grandma is going to come back and chastise me. And if that should ever happen, I know one thing, she’ll be wearing her girdle!

17 Comments:

Blogger kimananda said...

This is such a wonderful peek at how our view of clothing has changed. Just the thought of wearing a girdle, I can't even imagine it. And yet, I know that not so many generations ago, it was just this way.

9:09 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Kimananda, after Grandma died we cleaned out her house and there in her bottom drawer was a collection of these rubber chastity belts called girdles...a very funny name for a very funny thing. Give me my Hanes cotton bikinis any day!

9:24 AM  
Blogger Irina Tsukerman said...

I remember those slips... my mother and grandmother used to wear them until we moved to the United States... I kind of liked them, actually! : )

12:11 PM  
Blogger Echrai said...

I'm SOOOOOO glad we don't have to wear those. The horrors! The horrors! Very romantic in appearance, but walking around in a hot day in them? Huh uh.

1:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have missed the grandma stories! This one is fantastic. How risque to go around in your girdle and slip!

One would think it would have been better to remove the underclothing and just wear the dress. But, that was then and this is now. Times change, people change, society changes. Love dosent change.

2:34 PM  
Blogger Weetzie said...

Yay! Grandman Rocks! :-)

3:13 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Irina...those old slips can be found on Ebay from time to time...I think they were made out of nylon..also not noted for its "breathability" so I'd bet G'ma and Ann still were pretty hot...

Echrai...You and me both baby - girdles look like straight jackets for one's ass!

Lawbrat - so true, love doesn't change...and yes, it was risqué for the times...Grandma was no prude in her youth, though she became more conservative as time went on...she still stayed with the times -- she did eventually dump the girdle!

3:16 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Weetzie! Long time no see yet we still cross posted like we used to!

Hope all is well with you!!

3:17 PM  
Blogger dashababy said...

Remember those pointy bras??? Those were scary.

6:45 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Dashababy -- how nice to see that sweet face on my comments! When a dog cocks their head like that --my heart melts.

Yes, those pointy bras are so funny -- I love the old movie channel and love Hitchock movies...most of the women in his movies wore those bras that looked like lethal weapons. Scarier than the movies! /\ /\

7:48 AM  
Blogger dashababy said...

You always say the sweetest things.
I love this pic of my lil' Dasha. I'm sad because she is almost 7 years old now. I don't want her to get any older.
Auggies' not doin' so good but I can't take him for that last ride to the vet yet. He's not ready and neither am I.

So, just curious here but did the soap work for the leg cramps?
I used to get those alot when I was dieting. I think maybe you are low on potassium or something like that. I hope you feel better soon. Leg cramps suck!

3:43 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Dashababy..I haven't had a leg cramp since I wrote the post. Apparently leg cramps are terrified of soap, even the thought of soap as I still haven't gotten a bar of Ivory soap.

Dasha is a baby...small dogs like Dasha live for a very long time..so enjoy your puppy and don't worry!

I know you'll know when Augie's ready..I just had to help my dear Murphy get the gentle painfree death she deserved...now I'm hunting for a new kitten...

3:57 PM  
Blogger racingpartsales.com said...

grandma sounds like she was "hot" ;)

8:09 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Jeff -- your pithyand punny comment made me laugh for a long time...!

10:24 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Really great story, mb. I love Grandma and her moxy and pluck. She was way ahead of her time.

7:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a wonderful story! Very well told. You paint such a vivid picture - I can just imagine those giggling "naughty" women, with their amusement turning to horrified embarassment and then to outrage.

Thanks for the great read!

1:44 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Welcome Pegadoc! Thanks for the postivie comments. I've had sooooooo much fun over at your place lately!!!

We're discussing alternative names for feminine discharge...I know it doesn't sound like that would be fun, but it's amazingly so!

7:36 AM  

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