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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Hero or Hellion? A Fresh Look at Lewis the Cat

A N.J. cat named Jack is credited with chasing a black bear up a tree, not once, but twice, according to a recent news article.

Apparently Jack, a 15-pound orange tabby, doesn’t like creatures creeping around his yard and by hissing and posturing scared the beejeesus out of the bear.

Go Jack!

Which puts a new spin on poor Lewis the Cat and his current purrsecution by some local women, in his Sunset Circle, Fairfield, CT neighborhood.

Maybe, just maybe, the complainents in this ludicrous lawsuit were creeping around Lewis’s yard. Maybe they were wearing big black coats when they were allegedly attacked by Lewis. Maybe they were cat burglers or cat nappers or even cat nippers. Maybe they were big as bears or just plain unbearable.

Something had to have happened to Lewis --tantamount to what happened to Jack – to rev up his territorial and feral instincts.

Jack chases a bear up a tree and becomes a national hero. Lewis chases an Avon lady and is sentenced to death. It just doesn’t make sense.

I think a more intense investigation needs to be done. Just what did these women look like who Lewis allegedly threatened and attacked?

Were they extra big women with pronounced snouts? Were they overweight in black furry overcoats? Did they growl?

Here’s an online description of the black bear found here.

"The black bear has small eyes, a long snout, round ears, short tail, shaggy hair, a small tail, and a large body.

Black Bears vary in terms of size. Black Bears can be 4 to 7 feet tall.

They can weigh from 100-300 pounds.

Black Bears also have a smaller shoulder hump and much smaller claws."


Sunset Circle residents, I must ask, does the above description ring a bell? Does it remind you of anyone currently living on your street?

If this description in any way mirrors the appearance of the Avon Lady or Maureen Bachtig, then I think I’ve solved the case here.


Just mistaken identity on Lewis’s part and the case should be dropped and the Avon lady and Bachtig need a court order for an extreme makeover to ensure this never happens again.


If that happened I'd be sure to give both women a big bear hug.

9 Comments:

Blogger Closet Metro said...

Just nice to hear for once that it wasn't a pit bull that attacked someone.

8:25 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

No pit, just a kit ten. And how ridiculous is that to want to put a cat to death when we have murderers that are let out of prison to kill again.

10:13 AM  
Blogger Nilbo said...

Oh, sure, but has a murderer ever pooped in your garden?

Wow. I don't think I've ever typed that particular sentence before.

12:46 PM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Nilbo...tres funny but the truth is, if a murderer made a nice neat little hole in which he deposited his doodoo and then covered it up (like my cat does) I'd never know about it.

And I don't think I've ever typed the above sentence before nor will I again...hahah

1:06 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

i agree with you mary - i just cannot fathom a death sentence for lewis. what i really cannot fathom are the people in lewis' hood who don't have an issue with the death sentence.

i have met many a person who is afraid of cats (why? i have NO idea). lewis' human promised she would keep him indoors. PROBLEM SOLVED!

3:55 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Sangroncito --I think the Sunset Circle women are a bunch of pussies and poor Lewis is being maligned and persecuted for no reason....!

A rose is a rose, Historically, cats have been either revered or hated for centuries...associated with black magic and bad mojo but if anyone could see my kitty sleeping on the bed rolled up into a little ball, I can't imagine they'd find anything satanic or scary about him.

8:04 AM  
Blogger Ilanna said...

I've dealt with some pretty twisted kitties, but nature usually took care of those.

Sugar used to attack me every morning on my way to school - jumping and clawing at my legs. he was king cat. Another neighbor got a new cat, adopted, 6 months, found as a stray in the woods. A maine coone found as a stray in the woods. ;) well he wasn't allowed out for a while, so EVERY day sugar would venture to Woodsy's porch to climb around and taunt him in his own territory.

One day, woodsy turned 1. He was big enough to be allowed out. The *FIRST* thing he did was prance down to the end of the block to sugars house and kick the living daylights out of that cat. Sugar seemed much more timid after that day... :) (after several days at the vet) and Woodsy ruled with a very SWEET disposition... :)

9:13 AM  
Blogger mary bishop said...

Ilanna, So true, when left alone, animals usually are able to create their own hierarchy and live peacefully ever after.

We had a cat when we adopted our oldest Golden. The cat ruled the house and the dog knew it.

Soon the dog outweighed the cat by a hundred pounds but was always subservient to the cat and a little scared actually.

Then we got the second Golden...the cat still ruled. Now the dogs outweighed the cat by 200 pounds, still, the cat could eat right out of their bowls and the dogs would slink away waiting for him to finish.

12:11 PM  
Blogger Echrai said...

Honestly, I think that cat deserves a medal. I mean, I can't tell you how many Avon ladies, Fuller brushmen, and worse, magazine salesmen I've had to suffer through. The owner just has to pop up a no trespassing sign and maybe a warning about attack cat. I'm sure some other misanthropic recluse out there would LOVE this cat. Save the cat! Death to Avon salesfolk! Okay, so I'm not truly a misanthropic recluse, I just have my moments.

9:48 AM  

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