Men Get Better Service in Restaurants
Yes, the above could be called a hasty generalization, and it might be a generalization but it isn't hasty. I've been studying this for a while because it pisses me off more than I can say.
I've been in situations where *I* am taking out a male client for lunch and I am giving all the signals to the waitress that it is I who will be paying the bill, but since men get better service, she gives the bill to the client. Okay, I snatch it up and I put my credit card in my name in the slot and I hand her the bill and she comes back and hands him the receipt and my card.
Male servers are a bit better to women, but usually only when they think they are too cute for words, and they think you also think they are too cute for words so you'll leave a big tip because let's face it -- they are too cute for words.
I don't tip on buns or abs or guns or white teeth...male or female. I tip according to service with 20 percent being about the minimum I leave.
Unless I am so pissed off I leave a lot less to get my point across.
Recently husband and I were meeting at a restaurant bar for dinner. We were coming from different areas and we agreed we'd meet at the bar and have a drink. I get there first and the lovely young thing behind the bar (was she even 21?) looks over as I sit down and summarily looks away. That's the last look I get.
Business men come in and order drinks and drink their drinks and order second drinks and I am still sitting there dry-mouthed and fuming. I refuse to wave my arms or scream MISS or seek out the manager to complain. I just sit there wondering what it is about me that she can't bring herself to ask: What would you like?
I sit there for 20 minutes and this is not a 20 mile long bar nor is it three deep to the bar...it's an active bar but last I knew I was visible so I decided to see if she'd ever come down my end.
She doesn't.
Then husband arrives and his ass isn't totally on the barstool and voila! There she is, smiling and ready to serve. He says to me: What do you want and I say, a glass of Cabernet, he nods and says make that two.
I wait for her to return and when she does I flip out a $50 bill and lay it on the counter.
(Husband's quite happy I'm paying and I'm letting her know just who's ass she should be kissing, right?)
Nah, she comes back and hands him the change.
Yes, the above could be called a hasty generalization, and it might be a generalization but it isn't hasty. I've been studying this for a while because it pisses me off more than I can say.
I've been in situations where *I* am taking out a male client for lunch and I am giving all the signals to the waitress that it is I who will be paying the bill, but since men get better service, she gives the bill to the client. Okay, I snatch it up and I put my credit card in my name in the slot and I hand her the bill and she comes back and hands him the receipt and my card.
Male servers are a bit better to women, but usually only when they think they are too cute for words, and they think you also think they are too cute for words so you'll leave a big tip because let's face it -- they are too cute for words.
I don't tip on buns or abs or guns or white teeth...male or female. I tip according to service with 20 percent being about the minimum I leave.
Unless I am so pissed off I leave a lot less to get my point across.
Recently husband and I were meeting at a restaurant bar for dinner. We were coming from different areas and we agreed we'd meet at the bar and have a drink. I get there first and the lovely young thing behind the bar (was she even 21?) looks over as I sit down and summarily looks away. That's the last look I get.
Business men come in and order drinks and drink their drinks and order second drinks and I am still sitting there dry-mouthed and fuming. I refuse to wave my arms or scream MISS or seek out the manager to complain. I just sit there wondering what it is about me that she can't bring herself to ask: What would you like?
I sit there for 20 minutes and this is not a 20 mile long bar nor is it three deep to the bar...it's an active bar but last I knew I was visible so I decided to see if she'd ever come down my end.
She doesn't.
Then husband arrives and his ass isn't totally on the barstool and voila! There she is, smiling and ready to serve. He says to me: What do you want and I say, a glass of Cabernet, he nods and says make that two.
I wait for her to return and when she does I flip out a $50 bill and lay it on the counter.
(Husband's quite happy I'm paying and I'm letting her know just who's ass she should be kissing, right?)
Nah, she comes back and hands him the change.
posted by mary bishop | 7:46 AM
10 Comments:
See, that's the type of situation where i'd leave no tip... or i'd leave a tip - written out stating "here's your tip, pay attention to people not sexes."
Ilanna, at the bar, I didn't leave a tip...which I hope is a tip to her to treat men and women equally.
I waitressed once and I tended bar -- I never dismissed a woman as not worthy of serving and I received many a good tip from women.
I just came across your blog...that is crazy! I can't believe she handed the change back to your husband...it seems like she missed the point!
Welcome ecm! Oh I was so damned angry...she totally missed the point because she was progammed to kowtow to the men and ignore the women.
Here's another preconceived notion: Often husband will order white wine while I'll order a beer. When the server comes back with the drinks, nine times out of ten, they put the beer in front of him and the wine in front of me.
Is there a book somewhere that says men don't drink white wine...only women do and women don't drink beer?
That's outrageous...so much so that my vicarious flames of fury are burning hot.
HOT!
That is insane that she didn't help you for all that time. "Hmm, well, there's no one over there to buy her a drink, so she probably doesn't want one."
Summer, sometimes I'm in the mood to make a fuss, like the time I asked the guy next to me to see if he could get the bartenders attention as I wasn't having any luck...he had her over in a flash.
One funny story, and this was about two men, not getting served goes like this:
husband and colleague are on a business trip. They sit down in a booth at Chilis (yuck) to order lunch and no one comes. No one comes for a very long time...so long of a time, that the colleague gets up...goes to the front entrance where there's a pay phone and phonebook and looks up the number for Chilis.
He goes back to the booth, still no server has arrived, and calls Chilis on his cell phone and when the hostess picks up he says: Hi, are you open?
She says yes.
He says: if you're open, then could you send a server to the last booth on the right of the hostess station?
Now that's funny!
Doc Ern - I do think there's something to that attitude that the little woman couldn't possibly buy her own drink...I'll wait until someone with a penis shows up who might do her that favor.
My wife has a conspiracy theory that smaller portions are given to women than men in restaurants because they assume women don't want all of it anyway. I've never seen any difference, but I guess I don't have a woman's eye for those things.
Neil, welcome! I think your wife is right...last night both husband and I ordered scallops and his plate had more than mine.
He even had more french fries and that's just not fair!
Since he's about twice my weight and a foot taller, I guess it's okay though.
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