Snide Snippets
1) MIL was a doll last night forcing me to publicly retract every stinky thing I’ve ever said about her. I had so much guilt I woke up in the night chastising myself for my nasty post of yesterday.
2) Bill Clinton stumped for Joe Lieberman because it’s his duty as a loyal Democrat to support the Democratic candidate, especially one who’s been in office as long as Joe.
Lamont is a challenger right up until he wins the primary and then things will change.
Does
Once Ned Lamont wins the primary,
3) Tomcat, big bully in the pink collar, has taken my nice quiet street and turned it into a feline, war-zone, pissing contest. Cleopatra, a dainty calico who lives across the street, is afraid to leave the house and my boy is using up buckets of urine trying to mark his territory. The tires of my car smell like a back alley in Boozetown.
4) Which brings me to this question: Why can’t we have all the world leaders and terrorist leaders have a literal pissing contest? No one would get hurt, we could still crown a winner who could then go to the four corners of his land and mark his territory like the cats do? It would make as much sense as the way we deal with differences today, and no one would get hurt or maimed.
5) Which brings me to this other question: What happened to the war in
6) One of my dreams last night was that all the fake boob implants in the entire world deflated. I think I dreamed that because I happened to notice a bunch of balloons, tied to a mail box, which had all lost their air and were nothing but empty plastic sacks, flapping in the breeze.
7) Speaking of things artificial, if you want to put some blonde streaks in your hair, I recommend Jolen Cream Bleach. Yes, it’s made for “body hair” but it does a real nice job on head hair…well on my head hair which isn’t very dark to begin with. Try 40 minutes…that’s what worked for me and you’ll get natural looking streaks that look like the work of the sun rather than an artificial lightener. Start with one or two streaks, if it comes out bad you can cut them out.
8) I am always amazed at how much ludicrous crap I can write about when I sit down in the morning and say to myself: gee, I don’t have a thing to write about today.
posted by mary bishop | 8:04 AM
21 Comments:
Ok - so my first question. What are you on and why aren't you sharing? That was a very random set of postings. :)
so a) your MIL was probably really nice as part of her strategem of psychological warfare.. stick to your guns!!!
b) politics suck, clinton is a smart man so hopefully he'll back away from joe joe as soonas he can.
C) hmm political pissing contest eh? I could ALMOST get behind that but then the shrub that we have in office was such a college beer hound I have no doubt he could fill up long enough to win that physical contest. For all he is a flaming idiot, he's an idiot in good shape. {sigh} d) welcome to braodcast news, Iraq is old hat. Hezbullah is the latest and greatest threat to our freedom... (and a great way to distract from the clusterf*ck that is iraq) e) hmm streaks? not for me - I go for the red mahogany treatments and hair bleach wont' cut it for me. :) onthe flip side, it's close enough to my own hair that i only need to go once every 2 months :) f) keep writing the ludicrous crap, it keeps your readers incredulous at the stuff that comes out of your fingers and can always spawn some interesting conversations. :) WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Ilanna, I think I've found my niche...writing stupid little snippets about things that pop into my head!
I love your response about MIL...hilarious!
Cripes, the pink-collared bully is meowing furiously on my front porch now...my boy is asleep on the guestroom bed...I think I may have to go to neutering school in the near future.
Pissing contest, eh? Now that's a contest Clarence Thomas would really enjoy! Heigh-ho, Long Dong Silver himself!
I thought it was kinda of a nice touch for Condi to wear a white-flag top on her first day in the ME. But I simply cannot look at her without seeing a cartoon of Minnie Mouse. Her hair is better now, but it still looks like Minnie.
Sure glad I didn't get b implants...what an image, all those bursting boobs!
Thanks for answering about BC supporting the inSCUMbent Joe. You're right, I didn't think that through....
Always the idealist, Moi
Oh christ, I forgot all about the whole Long Dong thing...what a government we have.
I believe that Condi's problems including her hair-don't stem from that extra z in her name. CondoleezZa - as if her mother was typing out her name on her birth certificate on an electric typewriter with a supersensitive Z key.
Lieberman isn't going to win...he backed Bush on the Schiavo disaster and he has become so freaking religious, sanctimonious, pompous and out of touch with his constituency that they don't want him anymore.
Heck the ADL was wary of Lieberman and his positions on religion-state issues during his 2000 campaign.
Lieberman would make a good Republican Christian as a matter of fact.
"Lieberman would make a good Republican Christian as a matter of fact." Scary thought for someone who is supposedly an orthodox jew.
Long duck - i like that.
As for the balloons and the implants... goddess - I can already rest a beer stein on my chest when i wear a corset - doesn't even have ot be tied that tight... implants i think would strangle me in my sleep. :)
Oh no, don't mention a corset! It brings back a most embarrassing moment during a first date years ago. We called corsets Merry Widows then (anyone know why?) Well, I was always busty, but to slim my waist I wore a corset. My date said something funny and I laughed, roared, in fact. My boobs didn't stop moving up and down for a full half minute after I laughed. I think there's some law of physics about that...something about what stays in motion keeps staying in motion?
Madame Ovary - Educate me, why was a corset called a Merry Widow? I used one once under a prom gown. It took what I had and raised them up, plumped them up and had them jiggling like jello at the edge of my plunging neck line.
I had to go to the ladies room numerous times to tuck in my slippery nipples that wanted to pop out badly. This was before the drink of the same name.
LOL - the jiggling for a long time after I can certainly understand.. :) i'm full enough that in those corsets (like full ren faire steel boned corset i'm talking here.. not the nice mild lingerie boning) i can rest my chin on my boobs without dropping my head very far. :) I had a nice tasteful corset for my wedding, NOTHINg like the steel boned.. :) trust me on that one.
not sure why they are called merry widows though - never did understand that. :)
p.s. now that I think on it - I think corsett is a more generic term where as a merry widow is very specifically lingerie for under neath other things.. corsets can be worn outside inside and be different types for different effects. :)
And let us not forget Madame O's black leather corsets!!!
(kidding)
Don't you wonder how they did it back in the old days with whale bones...but I'd bet whale bones were better than steel bones!
I wish I could just blog about whatever, Im not too good at that. I should try it and see what ramblings I can come up with.
Hope you had a great weekend!
Marko - you always have such interesting posts and GREAT phottieos too!
Yes Nate, it's probably the size of my thumb with less sex appeal.
Madame Ovary - I await your response as to why corsets are called Merry Widows.
"'Course it's" up to you if you want to respond...;-)
Whale bones better than steel bones? Yeh, probably. But after all that dancing you might smell like sperm and then what would you tell your mama after the prom?
Interesting this whale lore...whale bones, merry widow and widow's walk...a widow's walk being a place atop a home for women to watch to see if their men were coming home from the sea. Maybe that's it...merry widow corsets got their name from widows being merry that their seaman didn't return! Every woman wore corsets back in the whaling days.
Madame O --
Wikipedia says; A merry widow is a short, strapless corset with half-cups for the breasts and long garters. It was first made by the lingerie company Maidenform in 1952, to coincide with the 1952 film, The Merry Widow, starring Lana Turner. (She wore one in the movie.)
I do believe that Sperm Whales were not the main source of whale bone for corsets due to the fact they would adhere like glue to the young woman's skin...also, there was that one unexplained pregnancy.
I like random posts from you MB, you give out information that I find very useful. Yes, where is the war on Iraq? Wondering how else it serves our purposes to push Israel, if it diverts attention from Iraq.......I wonder.
In the mean time AMK, the soldiers and civilians are still dropping like flies.
I must say I did see the pres (tv was on mute) and the caption said: Bush says we need to increase troops in Iraq.
He won't stop until we are in a nuclear war I fear.
wow sorry it took me so long to read this:)
i had a funny thing to say about the merry widows but i couldnt make it come out right in type so oh well something about wearing one on their wedding day and the hubby dropping dead on that night when he took it off of her... it sounded funny in my head:)
anyway -politics suck - why is lieberman still a democrat?
i used to like him.
MILs are all crazy in some way.
avoiding war talk
streaks done it dyed them purple
it was fun:) i was unemployed.
kids are kids and the best kids are always talked about by a grandma who is trying to impress someone who has grandkids better than her own (or others).
remember you are woman so you will never be able to live up to her image of who her son should have married.
i bet her daughters husband goes through the same thing unless he is a lawyer or something.
oh yeah i like the random snippets
Hi Jackie!
Great comments!!...the daughter's husband, and each subsequent boyfriend, have ended up being dumped with lots of cheering from good old mom.
my god, I LOVE the thought of a literal pissing contest. That's hysterical!
Your random snippets is like my brain. It's nice to get it all out.
Pissing contest eh? Very funny since that's what it really comes down to, and the overall size.
Helmut hair-we are on the same wavelength. I'm sorry I cannot stand her. And Leiberman, you're right, he'd make a great Republican.
And your poor cat...hmmmm, I'll have to find a remedy for that Tom.
Echrai...can you hear it now: Gentlemen start your whizzing!
I get so frustrated about war..it just seems so medieval. There has to be a better way...how about each country selects their best cooks to make a dinner and stars of the food channel decide who wins...couldn't that work?
Rated PG -- I haven't posted much of worth lately, but trying to come up with something worth writing about has kept me from writing...so I guess I'll go with the random snippets until I can form a whole idea, beginning, middle and end.
I love your brain..it created the best cartoon I ever saw..remember? Mom in car, kid in carseat, etc?
PS Have you seen me walking in NYC lately? hahahaha
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