Boobs.
Let's talk about them.
What's the big deal?
What constitutes a boob?
I've seen guys with a true B cup and women so flat they could go topless. But it's only females who have to cover up...even flat females.
Guys with boobs can let them jump and jiggle in public almost anywhere where it doesn't say:
Shirts required.
Or guys can wear a loose, arm-holed, wife-beater with armpit hair curling all the way to their knees.
Women can't do that. Inequality is what I say.
When I think of boobs, I think of bras. Good lord they're nasty things! Men get to wear nice, soft, 100 percent cotton undershirts. Women have to buy contraptions that can set off an alarm at the airport. Is this fair?
Men have more loose, jiggling, left dressed, right dressed, moving, growing, shrinking, twitching, body parts than women do...yet all that stuff is not stuffed into a wired contraption.
Men can let their stuff do their thing under loosey goosey boxers or buy garments that lovingly cradle their parts in -- yet again -- 100 percent cotton: comfy, tighty whiteys.
I want to buy a bra made out of cotton balls and meringue; down and Charmin.
Well I can dream, can't I?
Let's talk about them.
What's the big deal?
What constitutes a boob?
I've seen guys with a true B cup and women so flat they could go topless. But it's only females who have to cover up...even flat females.
Guys with boobs can let them jump and jiggle in public almost anywhere where it doesn't say:
Shirts required.
Or guys can wear a loose, arm-holed, wife-beater with armpit hair curling all the way to their knees.
Women can't do that. Inequality is what I say.
When I think of boobs, I think of bras. Good lord they're nasty things! Men get to wear nice, soft, 100 percent cotton undershirts. Women have to buy contraptions that can set off an alarm at the airport. Is this fair?
Men have more loose, jiggling, left dressed, right dressed, moving, growing, shrinking, twitching, body parts than women do...yet all that stuff is not stuffed into a wired contraption.
Men can let their stuff do their thing under loosey goosey boxers or buy garments that lovingly cradle their parts in -- yet again -- 100 percent cotton: comfy, tighty whiteys.
I want to buy a bra made out of cotton balls and meringue; down and Charmin.
Well I can dream, can't I?
posted by mary bishop | 10:39 PM
12 Comments:
I have never heard the gender inequality issue argued quite this way, and even though I am on the opposite side of the gender scale as you..I am persuaded by your argument!
Bradley
The Egel Nest
Well, MB, being that I spend every waking moment of my life amongst a sea of bras, I should be used to every emotion related to them.
But, your feelings about them leaves me speechless!!
Should I close up shop?????
:)
Linda
I understand and eve agree with your argument here. In fact I think there was a story about NY, (maybe?) where the law was changed, that anywhere a man can go topless so can a woman. So things are changing!
My thing is, structurally and gravitationally i need one. It gets PAINFUL to go too long with out one. Not everyone has this issue I know - but I unfortunately do. They are heavy enough that gravity pulls on them too much as it is, I don't need to let gravity have free reign either. :) (that bring said, I think Seinfeld's vision of the man bra wasn't so far fetched...:) though I think fat is lighter than breast tissue:) )
p.s. - to bradley's mom - if i'm ever in your neck of the woods you *WILL* be getting a visit from me. for now - i live in wacoal and am relatively happy :)
Bradley, you're brave to read the boob post!
Linda, I wish I lived near you -- I'd bet I'd find a bra that wouldn't bend, fold, spindle or mutilate my tatas!!
Ilanna, I too am doomed to bra wearing because it's more comfortable to have an uncomfortable bra on than to jiggle and sway in the breeze!!!
Sounds like you have a marketable product. Minus the meringue.
The other things are household products. I expect to see a prototype soon.
Actually isnt there a bunch of "comfy" "sport" bras...
You could by those instead of the iron maidens you are talking about?
Couldnt you?
Canopener, comfy sports bra doesn't cut it unless you are "tiny" or enjoy the mammogram experience over and over and over again.
well I was reading that its never been scientifically proven that bras actually help with anything, so you might as well junk them I guess.
:^D
and what about that prototype?
You should develop the bra of your dreams, market it and make a zillion bucks!
I was very uplifted when I read your blog today.
While I am in favour of boobs, I am ambivalent towards bras. They can - and sometimes do - make everything better. But I think the world would be a better place if - as you suggest - they were made of meringue.
Ohhh, or whipped cream! Note to self: invent whipped cream bra. Total time saver.
Canopener...I'll work on that prototype...minus the meringue (sorry Nilbo).
Sangroncito - Maybe I can get Bradley's mom to go into business with me...she's the bra expert!!
Jeff...you are pithy yet hilarious.
Nilbo, I am pleased to hear you are a fan of boobs! ( . )( . )
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