Google Hates Me
The latest and greatest Google search which brings you to my blog is: husband turd mouth. Try it!
Tchotchkes came up number 2 and number 3*. I know by writing about this I am in for more blog referrals from such lovely words, but it’s almost as if Google has it in for me. Every shit-related search term known to mankind seems to point to my blog!
Why someone is searching for: husband turd mouth --raises innumerable questions – but why direct people to my blog, Google?
Speaking of turds which seems to be my logo, mantra, and claim to fame, the new neighbor down the street walked her big, big dog down to my front lawn and allowed him to take a dump on our lawn which my husband had worked on for 8 hours spreading seed, grub killer, weed killer and had lovingly manicured, edged, combed and watered.
We have a big tree that partially blocks the view of the front yard but I spied her standing on the road..leash projecting into our yard and she stayed there for quite a while. Husband, after I alerted him to my guess, went outside and there on his expensive “in sweat, tears and money” lawn was the evidence.
We waited to see if she’d come back to pick it up but she had no such intention.
What would you have done?
(I have to say that my 230 pounds of dogs provide plenty of doo-doo for me to pick up. I think that is why I became so incensed at this woman’s lack of concern for what her animal had deposited on my front lawn.)
* Warning all other Google hits on the first screen appear to be disgusting turd-eating fiction…don’t make the mistake I made by opening one up. YUCK!
The latest and greatest Google search which brings you to my blog is: husband turd mouth. Try it!
Tchotchkes came up number 2 and number 3*. I know by writing about this I am in for more blog referrals from such lovely words, but it’s almost as if Google has it in for me. Every shit-related search term known to mankind seems to point to my blog!
Why someone is searching for: husband turd mouth --raises innumerable questions – but why direct people to my blog, Google?
Speaking of turds which seems to be my logo, mantra, and claim to fame, the new neighbor down the street walked her big, big dog down to my front lawn and allowed him to take a dump on our lawn which my husband had worked on for 8 hours spreading seed, grub killer, weed killer and had lovingly manicured, edged, combed and watered.
We have a big tree that partially blocks the view of the front yard but I spied her standing on the road..leash projecting into our yard and she stayed there for quite a while. Husband, after I alerted him to my guess, went outside and there on his expensive “in sweat, tears and money” lawn was the evidence.
We waited to see if she’d come back to pick it up but she had no such intention.
What would you have done?
(I have to say that my 230 pounds of dogs provide plenty of doo-doo for me to pick up. I think that is why I became so incensed at this woman’s lack of concern for what her animal had deposited on my front lawn.)
* Warning all other Google hits on the first screen appear to be disgusting turd-eating fiction…don’t make the mistake I made by opening one up. YUCK!
posted by mary bishop | 10:17 AM
12 Comments:
you wouldn't even believe the amount of neighborhood bitterness, gossip & backstabbing that goes on where I live over exactly that same thing (owners not pooper-scooping). One neighbor put all the dog poop from her front yard in the street with a LARGE SIGN beside it that read "did your dog leave this here?" ooooh....major issues with that one....
OHMYGOD: I put in the search terms you stated and yes you are right....HOWEVER under no circumstances are you to click on what comes up first...blarf...
Weetzie - I can see how that happens - I'm not feeling very neighborly to the new woman right now...
I know LB - humiliating that I'm right up there in the Google search and the surrounding sites are all disgusting yucky sicko stuff.
LB - P did put a warning on my blog but I think I should go back and make it larger and in color!
Wow, I was just considering such a sign. :P Not for me, but to suggest. Actually, I was thinking clean it up, and post a Pooper-scooping zone sign. Maybe a big red circle crossing out a turd. I mean, it's ten times better than leaving landmines so that Petunia gets blown sky high. Of course boobytrapping the owner could be fun too. You know, next time you see it, run out screaming like a banshee and waving a hose spraying the bad neighbor. Preferably while shouting, "BAD neighbor! BAD!!!"
echrai - you've got me laughing hysterically at the thought of hosing down the low class neighbor - too funny.
We always carry a little arsenal of poop bags with us when we walk the pooch. When we first moved to our neighborhood, Miss Kate was walking him and he out-pooped the bag supply.
That means he was on poop number five or six. I don't know about your situation, but for our dog, things are pretty messy when you get into the high numbers.
So what do you do? Messy poop, no bag. Miss Kate fled the scene.
And she got chased down. In a car. She was mortified and took the yelling she knew she deserved.
I don't know if this is helpful to the situation you described, but maybe you will get some extra hits by people searching for "messy poop."
sparky - the messy poop no bag scenario you describe is one thing - this woman lives 5 houses away...if she were blindfolded, and we turned her around three times, she could walk her dog and let her dog poop on her own lawn and she wouldn't even know.
I will let you know if messy poop gets me hits...I'm number three on Google for large anuses...how humiliating!
I love the hose thing. If you catch her again, you could walk out and hand her a poop bag. I think these types deserve direct confrontation. Or you could put up a sign by the poop with her name on it, e.g., "Brought to you by Matilda".
I have poop bags stuffed in all my jacket pockets. (Empty poop bags, that would be.) We pick up our poop. Truly we do.
husband turd mouth? lol. I couldnt even imagine. Marybishop has the new poop blog this season.
Poop picker-upper people rule, Susie! (We'll forgive Miss Kate that one time she ran out of bags...)
I can't walk my dogs, they both weigh more than I do, so they only have the backyard for pooping ergo I'm on my own dog's poop duty (not literally) 24/7.
In the words of LB, Lawbrat, I am poopular beyond words!
Andrea...oh I so wanted to do that! Wasn't sure if I should start a poop war in my own neighborhood though...
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