The Faint



How totally humiliating; how ridiculous; how cheek-reddening foolish I felt when I took a nose dive onto my friends’ deck. (Thank god it was Doc and DJ who I know so well!)



Oh I’d had a faint or two in my life, a near faint or two too, but this one took me by surprise and that’s why I’ll share it – because it has or will happen to someone else and they’ll be able to find some information here that I couldn’t find anywhere.



I spent Saturday as a total slug in front of a roaring fire. I literally didn’t move off the couch from 8 am till about 6 pm. Husband brought me a tray of one perfectly poached egg on one piece of homemade bread and a small glass of fresh squeezed tangerine juice over cracked ice.



At lunch time he brought me a bowl of his freshly made Italian rice/potato soup, (shhhhh don’t tell, I don’t like this soup so I had very little of it, enough to show I tried to eat it but not enough to count as a decent lunch.)



I tell you this because I believe that the lack of food and drink and the exposure to the oxygen eating fire all day set me up for this unattractive swoon that was to come.



At 7 pm feeling just wonderful we arrived at our friends’ house for dinner. I had one black Russian cocktail and maybe four cashews as I was pretty hungry and didn’t want to spoil my dinner since DJ had made roast turkey and tons of delicious veggies.



I sat down for dinner with five big men (another couple had been invited) and ate them all under the table. I couldn’t seem to get enough of the delicious dinner DJ’d prepared. Many comments were made that they couldn’t believe I was eating so much and that they’d never seen me eat two full plates of food. (Remember, I’m five feet tall and 106 pounds.)



I also had a glass of wine with dinner, maybe two, but I think one.



Then we moved out of the dining room and back into the kitchen for coffee – decaf. I lit up a cigarette and listened to the coffee perk.



I was sitting on the stool at the kitchen island and my first feeling was holy crap I’m hot, so I removed the jacket I had on and was now in a short sleeved, but long dress.



I drank my coffee and all of a sudden I felt “not right” – can’t explain it as it was a feeling I’m not familiar with. I decided I’d go outside for air as I felt so warm.



Went out onto the deck and the cold air wasn’t touching me. I felt so odd. DJ went to the door to see what was the matter as it was pretty cold outside to be in short sleeves and when he opened the door, apparently I fainted after saying: I don’t feel well.



The guys got me inside, put me on a kitchen bar stool and I fainted again or continued to faint – can’t know because I was out of it.



I awoke on the floor, feeling nauseous and hearing DJ talking on the phone to a 911 operator.



OY Vey!



I did two lady-like barfs into a bag ( hahahah) and instantly felt so much better.



The EMS came and bless their hearts, tried to get me to a hospital. They stayed for 40 minutes trying to talk me into going, but I didn’t feel the necessity. The oxygen they gave me raised my blood oxygen level and my color went from chiclet white to pale like I always am.



The blood pressure cuff was too loose to take a good reading; the heart monitor thingies were falling off and frankly I had recently heard of two other people who had a vaso-vagal faint and ended up spending hours in the hospital and then being sent home.



At this point I just wanted to go home and get in my own bed and forget about it all.



After pissing off now let’s see about 8 men, husband, Doc, DJ one cop and 4 EMT people, I had my way and they finally left. I did too.



I have felt fine since then except for a slight wrench of my knee when I fell.



The excruciating details are recited here because I think (like chaos theory) a series of events led to this vaso-vagal syncope as it is called.



One, too much heat and too much fire which dries you out and lowers oxygen levels in the room.



Two, not enough to eat all day and certainly not enough to drink…I don’t remember drinking anything all day except my morning juice. Maybe a small glass of water with my vitamins, which leads to dehydration.



Three, a hearty drink dumped into an empty stomach.



Four, a huge gluttonous meal after eating little all day.


That’s what I think made this phenomenon occur.


I won’t do any of the above again, I promise you!

So anyone else have any fainting stories? Any vaso vagal stories? Any post-prandial swan dives? Okay any stories of gluttony or stories of barfing at a friend's house?