More Orts and Odd Musings

(It’s your fault, you encouraged me)

1) My neighbor across the street is having her house painted. Because my kitchen’s in the front of my house, I spend more time looking at her house than she does. Because of that fact, I think I should pick out the colors for her house and she can pick the colors for mine.

Whatever colors she chooses, I’ll be looking at them for a long time. (Please no purples or pinks, aquas or lime greens!)

2) Someone who should definitely be inducted into the Hall of Shame is one Eugene Scheifflin.

A lover of the Bard, he wanted to bring all the birds listed in Shakespeare's plays to America, so in 1890, he arranged to transport European Starlings to Central Park in New York City. (My friend Lori clued me into this fact.)

Anyhow, I now have a shitload of ugly Starlings approaching puberty which makes them even uglier (they get black and white moldy looking spots on their dung colored feathers) and it’s all Mr. Scheifflin’s fault.

3) Last year I had the big cranberry craving going on. I now have frozen cranberries, dried cranberries (and the earthen objects that might also be in the container according to the ingredients) craisins, and cranberry sauce in stock all the time. I have eased up on the craisin cravings, but have developed a whole new “must have a lot of” desire for….

{{{{drum roll}}}}

Jello.

Yup, Jello and I have no idea why. I have never eaten a spoonful of Jello in all my years until last week. Now I can’t get enough of the stuff.

My main bitch against Jello in the past was its texture; the same texture as phlegm in my mind.

I have no idea why I am able to not only tolerate but crave Jello except that husband is dumping in lots of crunchy fruits, nuts and vegetables in the Jello and on a hot day a shimmering glob of Jello accompanying our dinner seems to be delectable.

Hello Jello! Nice to meet you!

4) We’re going back to P-town in September and I’m really looking forward to stripping my hotel bed down to the mattress and finding out just what it is they put on their beds to make them so unbelievable comfortable at the Brass Key Inn.

I will then purchase whatever it is they’ve got for my own bed. A truly comfy bed is one of life’s greatest pleasures and worth spending money on. I am more excited about exploring the bedding than I am anticipating the delicious P-town fudge, and that’s saying something.

5) The pink collared, big-balled, bully cat that’s new to the neighborhood got a rude awakening when he chased my ball-less baby into the yard and looked up to see two huge Golden Retrievers. He ran like hell. I hope no one tells him that these dogs look impressive but are totally ruled by the cat who can eat from either dog’s dish at will --and the dogs will wait patiently for the cat to finish.

6) I have a cable phone system now. It’s a bit odd but much cheaper than what I was paying. My biggest bitch about my cable phone is this: when I’m talking to a certain friend, all she has to do is press her microwave buttons – not even turn it on, just put in the time – and my phone gets a huge echo.

All I can hear is me so we have to get off the phone and I have to call her back. I can’t find a single thing on Google to explain this phenomenon.

7) Two things I want to learn how to do: yodel and ventriloquize.

8) One thing I find myself wondering about frequently is how people can tie a cherry stem into a knot with their tongues. Who was the first person who learned how to do this trick?

9) I seem to be orally fixated this morning, don’t I?