Wow is it windy outside! I went out to get the newspaper and the wind was a force to reckon with. I wanted to go right but the wind wanted me to go left. I felt like Dorothy for a minute and wanted to call out for help from Auntie Em. I managed to get the paper and catching a glimpse of my face in the mirror I realized I'd been transformed into a white, female version of Don King. Scary.

There's a comedian who says Halloween is a great time for women to dress like sluts. No matter what the costume is, it's the slut version. Ex: nurse slut, witch slut, clown slut, bee slut, etc.

I am contemplating attending a costume Halloween dance tonight, but I have the choice of witch slut or an unslutty scarecrow costume. Do I go with the slut or the unslut?

Of course, if the wind keeps up, not matter what I wear I'll end up looking like Don King so I guess it doesn't matter.

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Let's see, we've got war in Iraq and Afghanistan and now the hawks are dying for us to jump into Iran too. In the mean time we have resorted to paying recruits $20 grand to get them to sign up and have lowered all criteria for joining the service.

You can be emotionally unstable, mentally impaired, dumb as a box of rocks and sign on the dotted line and be pushed into the front line within no time.

Look, if we must have war, why not have each country who wants war pick out their best wrestler or whistler for all I care -- then have a competition and let all other countries vote as to who wrestled or whistled the best. Why must war be won by how many people died and how many you killed? Could even be a bake off, pies or cakes, anything other than death and destruction. I'm on to something.