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Tchotchkes

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Name:
Location: Connecticut, United States

marybb1@gmail.com

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Where are the Monkeys?

How many ways can you say wet, hot, moldy, damp, humid, rainy, overcast and gray?

That’s my weather and whether or not I like it, I can’t do a damn thing about it. Actually I should be a lot more thankful it’s remaining outside and not inside like the last big rain.

If I’m going to resign myself to living in a tropical rain forest then I demand my birds get prettier plumage. I want to see some bright colored parrots at my feeder and I want to start seeing some monkeys swinging from the trees.

I’ve heard tell that rainforests are filled with beautiful butterflies and I love butterflies so I say, bring them on.

If I’m going to live in this new climate, I want to see some of the benefits in the flora and fauna. Where are the lush fruits, the dinner-plate-size, bright colored blooms, the canopy of vines creating what they now call an “outdoor living space?”

Without some positives, the negatives will drive Connecticut residents into a state of hibernating, air-conditioned slugs.

And please, someone, help me scrape the mold off my north side.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Thursday, June 23, 2005 or

Tuesday June 27, 2006 (updated)


(Still) Burned Up About the Flag Amendment



It’s a grand old flag, but it’s only fabric.

It’s a symbol or emblem or banner.

It’s a Nike swoosh, or a red, white and blue Pepsi can. It’s the Chihuahua in the Taco Bell commercial; it’s the Golden Arches. It is not the sneaker nor the beverage nor the burrito nor the hamburger.

It’s THE American logo that can give us goose bumps by just looking at it -- but it is not America.

It still is just fabric. (And, what I really hate, it is now sometimes newspaper quality paper!)

Still, the current administration and the fanatics who support suppression of freedom want to revisit the old so-called flag burning constitutional amendment. Actually the wording says desecration of the flag. If they had their way the constitution would have more amendments than the Oxford English Dictionary has entries.

There’d be an amendment on flossing if they could get away with it.

That slap happy congress, ready at any moment to pass any amendment they can think of, has approved this misguided amendment and passed it on to the Senate.

Here we go again: Attempting to pass an amendment that amends the first amendment of the constitution.

Well, if that happens the first person I’m going to turn in is my neighbor who desecrates the flag by never taking it down, keeping it up in the dark, rain, snow so it is now tattered and bleached pink from the elements.

That is just as much a desecration of the flag as any idiot who’d take a match to it.

(Speaking of which, just how many flags have you seen burned in your life? Me? Not a one. So we are going to add a brand new amendment that would affect how many people? A super small group of crazies with a Bic, a flag and a bug up their butts?)

If that were the case, I might not care about this amendment to the first amendment – but that’s not the case. Once freedom of speech is eroded, so follows other freedoms. History proves this out.

Current history in the making, like the Patriot Act, shows how Bush et al wants to know what books we are reading. Wants public libraries and book stores to tattle on us.

Things have to be pretty bad when a bunch of peace-loving, soft-hearted, librarians get militant about such invasions of privacy and loss of freedom.

To me, the loss of freedom couched in the name of patriotism is one of the single most unpatriotic acts upon our people, our country and yes, our flag that could occur.

So, if the amendment passes I will demand that all flag facsimiles be banned from clothing, causing Ralph Lauren’s stock to plummet. I will insist that no 99 cent flags be sold at Memorial and Independence Day parades. No little toothpick flags for holiday cupcakes or hors d’oeuvre trays either.

I’ll scour my community pointing out the tattered abused flags that are left outside to brave the elements of the oh so patriotic people who own the pole.

And certainly no freaking paper flags in the Sunday paper. After all, how could we respectfully get rid of these things? We’d be breaking the law. So our homes would have to be littered with paper flags from the cellar to the attic. A fire hazard I might add.

I get tears in my eyes when I hear The Star Spangled Banner. The hairs on the back of my neck twitch. I get goosebumps when I see the American Flag. I am just as much a patriot as anyone in blog land or anywhere else. My relatives fought for freedom – in both World Wars, Korea, Viet Nam and in the mid-east. Some of them never came home.

My freaking heart beats red, white and blue too.

But this amendment stinks.
*******************

Just for the sake of argument, let's imagine the amendment passes. Can you imagine the lawsuits that will flood the courts on what exactly is or is not desecration?

Let's say an alien falls down from the sky and sees Americans being killed in Iraq because of imaginary weapons of mass destruction and reads about right-wing groups that want to take control over American women's unteruses and want American gay and lesbian citizens to be treated as less than their heterosexual neighbors and this is all good and allowed -- because what the hell... "fuck 'em" -- heck they're just people!

But the fabric on the pole, now that's something to protect and preserve so much so we need to change the constitution.

When the alien asks you where all the flag desecration is taking place, you're going to point to where?

Explain to the alien why American people value fabric over flesh.

I can't.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Bird Feeder Guilt and Nate James

My latest dilemma: Should I only feed the pretty birds? Do ugly birds have a right to eat at my feeder? Am I a shallow bird lover?

The starlings have taken over the bird feeder, the suet cake and are scaring the birds away from the thistle feeder.

Starlings are not pretty in any sense of the word. We don’t spend as much money as we do on “bird grub” to attract them.

They in turn harass and intimidate the birds that are pretty, the ones like the purple house finches, the goldfinches, the variety of wood peckers we get and the assorted birds that have something going for them in the looks department.

I feel guilty if I shoo them away. I feel guilty if they shoo away the other birds as it’s my responsibility to keep the feeding area a safe, clean place to eat. Right? But in truth, if they were pretty I’d never shoo them away.

Having been brought up Catholic, I can even find guilt at the bird feeder which is saying something.

Nate James, who the heck are you?

I issue Blogshares stock and you buy it. I issue more and you buy more. I issued 50 thousand shares of stock and you bought them all up.

Is that because you have great faith in my blog? Maybe you do, but that’s because you haven’t seen my stats lately!!

If I issue 50 thousand more shares of stock will you buy them up like candy?

I don’t know how to play the Blogshares game and I don’t know why you have this magnificent obsession with my stock…care to share the reason why?

All I know is I am able to do one thing that you can’t do, and that’s issue stock.

So what’s the deal, Nate?

Thursday, June 22, 2006

The Cupcake Caper and Blogshares Blasphemy

Having nothing to say has never stopped me from saying things so I shall do a stream of consciousness post and see how it goes.

I had to have cupcakes yesterday…it wasn’t an itch or a yen; it was a full blown fix I needed them like I needed air to breathe.

Alas, no cake mix which meant I could drag my lazy ass out to the store and buy one or I could attempt to make a “complete from scratch” cake. Since I wasn’t in the mood to leave the AC I decided on the latter.

I wanted white cake, not yellow and I remembered I had some Just Whites powdered egg whites in the cabinet so I grabbed them. Then I found a fairly easy looking recipe which I followed in my typical half-ass way.

Twenty minutes later perfect cupcakes were ready to come out and cool.

How’d I do this?

Then I looked for confectioners’ sugar and couldn’t find any. I know you can make powdered sugar by whirring regular sugar in a blender but that sounded like a time consuming job so I went back to our basement pantry and looked around.

Dear husband had placed the confectioners’ sugar in a Tupperware container to keep it fresh and since I seldom bake, I had no idea he did this.

What joy when I found we were not out of powdered sugar and I could whip up some frosting which I did adding a teaspoon of strawberry extract and a couple of dashes of red food coloring as if I were making cupcakes for a 5 year old girl.

My laissez faire attitude combined with dumb luck created a confection that I have to say was way beyond my expectations.

The cake was white, light and fluffy and the frosting was smooth and shiny and a light pink with a faint hint of strawberry.

I ate six of them and then immediately had to retire to the couch to recover.

And because I have nothing to write about today, you get to learn about my cupcake caper.


*******


I don't know much or really anything about Blogshares except some guy keeps buying my fake stock and I decided if he wanted my stock that badly I'd issue 50,000 more shares of stock. I don't know what that will do -- crash my stock or if the Tchotchkes stock buyer will buy all 50 thousand shares I just issued. But I figured I'd screw around with him and Blogshares and see what happens.


Time for a cupcake now.


Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Lewis Gets Life Imprisonment; Spared the Death Penalty

We can only hope that the saga of Lewis the Cat has come to an end. Lewis has been allowed to keep his claws and live in Fairfield, CT providing he never sets paw outside his home again.

And to the Sunset Circle harpies who made such a todo about a cat, I hope their neighborhood is overrun with varmints -- so much so that they beg Lewis to go back on his neighborhood prowl.

Neighborhoods thrive when people embrace the diversity of life. Cats, dogs, kids and old people have a place in a neighborhood, even if they are sometimes annoying.

So to Lewis I wish you a long happy life filled with tuna and milk and to the Sunset Circle people -- look out for mice in your dryers.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

A Sad Day for America


Just a quick look at the newspaper this morning and I needed a Valium.

The mayor of Bridgeport Connecticut admits he used cocaine. Great. Why do I feel this is not the end of the story but only the beginning? Could Bridgeport be so lucky to get two crooks in a row? Or will he go on to become president of the U.S. like another former drug abuser we all know?

The National Guard is going to patrol New Orleans: Yes, military police employed because of a single incident of violence in which five teenagers were shot and killed and one bar fight. If this is the new trend, to throw your hands up in the air and call up the military every time there's a murder in a major city, we won't have a single street corner in any city of the U. S. that doesn't have military personnel armed and inexperienced taking over. Oh American the land of the free -- where have you gone?

Speaking of the military, the one article I read that kept me from being able to swallow a sip of coffee was the one describing the finding of two bodies, thought to be those of the two young soldiers kidnapped last week in Baghdad.

Sickening and gruesome.

Then I read about the suicide bomber in Iraq who blew up a senior citizen's home -- killing at least one person and injuring many others. Then there were three car bombs that exploded in Iraq yesterday killing a half dozen people or so and injuring a few dozen people.

Mothers, wives, is this where you want your children to spend time? Waiting to be blown up to bits or kidnapped and tortured?

I am speaking to the women because I believe if we can get women to say bring our young men and women home, we can make that happen.

You know how women are, if we really want something we can usually get it.

*****

On father's day I was thinking about my own father and how he always said if you are going to play the game, make sure you are on an even playing field. Our troops are not on an even playing field. They're playing laser tag with maniacs who enjoy the act of killing, even to enjoying blowing their own selves up. They think nothing of beheading, or eye gouging, or tongue cutting, or death by stoning, or acid throwing or anything else horrendous you can think of.

We have to stop sending our Spongebob Squarepants, Gatorade, flip-flp wearing youth to a place that is more like the horrible middle ages, in actions, words and deeds. They don't belong their and their lives, every single one of them, count.

There were no weapons of mass destruction; there was no connection between 911 and Iraq. There is no reason for Americans to be fighting on an uneven playing field.

Support our troops and demand they they come home.

Send over in their place, if you insist, a bunch of beheading, or eye gouging, or tongue cutting, or death by stoning, or acid throwing soldiers and at least make it a fair fight.




Monday, June 19, 2006

More Ink on the Lewis the Cat Stink

Lewis’s fate rests in the hands of Judge Patrick Carroll who I hope is a feline fan -- and tomorrow, in Carroll’s court, Lewis will learn whether he is to live or to die. If Lewis is found guilty and given the death sentence, then Carroll will be legalizing catricide, as we all know cats have nine lives.

In a last ditched attempt to save Lewis, an animal rescue organization called The Best Friends Animal Society of Kanab, Utah has offered to keep and care for Lewis for the rest of his natural life.

Isn’t there another Utah organization – maybe called The Worst Neighbors Society that would be willing to take the Avon lady, Maureen Bachtig and the rest of the Sunset Circle complainants and keep and care for them for the rest of their lives?

Ave Lewis!

Save Lewis!


(Scratch the surface of an animal hater and you find a hater.)

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Happy Father's Day

I hope you know how important you are to us. Thanks for all you do for the family.

Relax and enjoy your day!

(You may have sole possession of the remote today.)

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Hero or Hellion? A Fresh Look at Lewis the Cat

A N.J. cat named Jack is credited with chasing a black bear up a tree, not once, but twice, according to a recent news article.

Apparently Jack, a 15-pound orange tabby, doesn’t like creatures creeping around his yard and by hissing and posturing scared the beejeesus out of the bear.

Go Jack!

Which puts a new spin on poor Lewis the Cat and his current purrsecution by some local women, in his Sunset Circle, Fairfield, CT neighborhood.

Maybe, just maybe, the complainents in this ludicrous lawsuit were creeping around Lewis’s yard. Maybe they were wearing big black coats when they were allegedly attacked by Lewis. Maybe they were cat burglers or cat nappers or even cat nippers. Maybe they were big as bears or just plain unbearable.

Something had to have happened to Lewis --tantamount to what happened to Jack – to rev up his territorial and feral instincts.

Jack chases a bear up a tree and becomes a national hero. Lewis chases an Avon lady and is sentenced to death. It just doesn’t make sense.

I think a more intense investigation needs to be done. Just what did these women look like who Lewis allegedly threatened and attacked?

Were they extra big women with pronounced snouts? Were they overweight in black furry overcoats? Did they growl?

Here’s an online description of the black bear found here.

"The black bear has small eyes, a long snout, round ears, short tail, shaggy hair, a small tail, and a large body.

Black Bears vary in terms of size. Black Bears can be 4 to 7 feet tall.

They can weigh from 100-300 pounds.

Black Bears also have a smaller shoulder hump and much smaller claws."


Sunset Circle residents, I must ask, does the above description ring a bell? Does it remind you of anyone currently living on your street?

If this description in any way mirrors the appearance of the Avon Lady or Maureen Bachtig, then I think I’ve solved the case here.


Just mistaken identity on Lewis’s part and the case should be dropped and the Avon lady and Bachtig need a court order for an extreme makeover to ensure this never happens again.


If that happened I'd be sure to give both women a big bear hug.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

I Love My Dentist -- Dr. Ed Kozinn


Is there a better feeling in the world than leaving the dentist’s office with clean, shiny teeth and no cavities?

I have said it before but I must say it again, my dentist-- Dr. Ed Kozinn is the best dentist in Connecticut, maybe the best in the universe for all I know.

I had a long sad history with dentists that caused me to develop horrendous fears and phobias about any type of dental work.

Dr. Kozinn has completely turned those fears around. I don’t shake in the chair; I don’t spike my blood pressure any more and I keep going back as I did today for cleanings and a look-see.

I actually felt sorry for my dentist today; he has a cracked tooth and he has to go to the dentist today!


That’s something I’ve never thought about much…when dentists have to go to the dentist.

I certainly hope Dr. Kozinn’s dentist is good to him -- and I do worry, because to me, Dr. Kozinn is THE BEST so whoever will be fixing his tooth just has to be less than the best.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Peeing and Shaking


It took two adults, a handful of cookies, and a strong leash to get Beau in for his physical and rabies shot.

Beau is a Golden Retriever in lamb’s clothing; he has very curly light blond fur and his face is shaped like a sheep’s face.

He’s a very sweet dog unless…

he realizes he’s approaching the vet’s office.

Then the wolf inside comes out with lip curls and low growls and after a few minutes of that it’s all about peeing and shaking; peeing and shaking; peeing and shaking until we can’t believe he could possible have any more pee inside of him.

But he does, he pees on the vet’s shoe.

I apologize but the vet says no worries, his shoes are peed on daily.

A few hundred dollars later, we get him back in the car and finally he stops shaking.

I finally stop shaking too.

He’s getting old for a big dog and I worry that they’ll find something wrong with him other than his numerous neuroses.

I’d felt a lump under his front leg which worried me a lot, but the vet said it was nothing.

Except for the excessive peeing, I was quite similar to Beau, nervous, anxious and shaky --hoping against hope that the lump was a benign growth.

Phew…made it through that visit and with luck we won’t have to take Beau back for three more years.

Friday, June 09, 2006

I’m Not 18 and Christian

I Don’t Sell Wisteria Plants

I Don’t Wear Size Large

I’m Opposed to Abstinence

I have this old email address which I barely ever look at, until lately. Lately it seems that this old and just about defunct email address –I never use it --has become way popular and I can’t figure out why.

Noodling around on the computer I noticed that panties order I wrote about a few days ago.

So checking back to see if they ever got the point that they were sending emails to the wrong person, I noticed I had a new friend who wanted to join my friends’ list on My Space!

My Space??? What the hell?

So I click on the link on the email and sure enough there’s someone using my email. I try to get into the account but I need the password. So I click on lost password and immediately they send the password to my old email address.

I go back into My Space and now put in the password to see MY EMAIL on my space with my profile. Not!

Oy, I am not a Christian; I don’t live in Texas; I don’t have brown hair and I am not 18. (Although it was a very good year.)

So I close the account with aplomb. (If the person using my email address comes back she’ll find nothing, zero, zip, zilch and if she re-registers, I sure hope she can type in her own email address correctly.)

So, this morning, I check back into the old email account and lo and behold, I get a letter from someone complaining about the wisteria plants she ordered from me. Two out of three are dead and she wants her money back.

I ain’t selling wisteria, buying $18 panties, nor am I looking to meet young Christian men who believe in abstinence. (I am opposed to abstinence for many reasons but the biggest one being what would poor husband say about that?)

I guess I will have to either close this old email account or monitor it daily to see who else is --by mistake or design -- using my email.


Thursday, June 08, 2006

Men Get Better Service in Restaurants

Yes, the above could be called a hasty generalization, and it might be a generalization but it isn't hasty. I've been studying this for a while because it pisses me off more than I can say.

I've been in situations where *I* am taking out a male client for lunch and I am giving all the signals to the waitress that it is I who will be paying the bill, but since men get better service, she gives the bill to the client. Okay, I snatch it up and I put my credit card in my name in the slot and I hand her the bill and she comes back and hands him the receipt and my card.

Male servers are a bit better to women, but usually only when they think they are too cute for words, and they think you also think they are too cute for words so you'll leave a big tip because let's face it -- they are too cute for words.

I don't tip on buns or abs or guns or white teeth...male or female. I tip according to service with 20 percent being about the minimum I leave.

Unless I am so pissed off I leave a lot less to get my point across.

Recently husband and I were meeting at a restaurant bar for dinner. We were coming from different areas and we agreed we'd meet at the bar and have a drink. I get there first and the lovely young thing behind the bar (was she even 21?) looks over as I sit down and summarily looks away. That's the last look I get.

Business men come in and order drinks and drink their drinks and order second drinks and I am still sitting there dry-mouthed and fuming. I refuse to wave my arms or scream MISS or seek out the manager to complain. I just sit there wondering what it is about me that she can't bring herself to ask: What would you like?

I sit there for 20 minutes and this is not a 20 mile long bar nor is it three deep to the bar...it's an active bar but last I knew I was visible so I decided to see if she'd ever come down my end.

She doesn't.

Then husband arrives and his ass isn't totally on the barstool and voila! There she is, smiling and ready to serve. He says to me: What do you want and I say, a glass of Cabernet, he nods and says make that two.

I wait for her to return and when she does I flip out a $50 bill and lay it on the counter.

(Husband's quite happy I'm paying and I'm letting her know just who's ass she should be kissing, right?)

Nah, she comes back and hands him the change.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

It Rears Its Ugly Head Again: Flag Burning Amendment


Dear Hillary,

I’m non-plussed. You support a flag burning amendment? I mean deep, down in your heart you support such a thing?

Every day our national debt increases to the point that China could buy or sell us at its whim.

We have a war based on lies killing innocent people, from the troops to the Iraqi civilians; we have a planet that is on its last legs if we don’t do something about global warming now, right now when there’s still a chance to reverse some of the damage.

We have growing poverty but “wonderful health care” for the rich -- for the lower or fading middle class health care is bad or non-existent.

Yet, your panties are all in a bunch about flag burning? I believe that as much as I believe Bush gives a hoot about gay marriage.

You have become the enemy Hillary.

Sure, I know one must make some sacrifices in politics – one must appeal to the voting blocs by saying and doing things that might make them vote for you. But you’ve gone too far.

Your pandering is more like panhandling. You are out there begging for votes without shame.

The Religious Right is only as powerful as politicians allow them to be. By joining their club, you’ve alienated your base supporters and elevated their status and power because of fear they might not vote for you. Well they have no intentions of voting for you ever.

So if you run, you will lose. Not for standing up for your principals but for abandoning them.

A few days ago I said I’d vote for you if you ran.


Nix that.

Monday, June 05, 2006

I Didn’t Buy the Damn Panties and I Don’t Wear Size Large and I Wouldn’t Pay $18 for a Pair of Panties even if I Could Afford it!




I get an email on an email account I rarely use telling me my order (?) had been received:



Dear Mary,

Thank you for shopping at XXXXXXXX.

Your order no. XXXXXXX has been received.

Order Summary:

Item

Qty

Description

Options

Price

Total

Cosabella Soire Bikini 1 Soire Bikini Color: White, Size: L $18.00

$18.00

Cosabella Soire Bikini 2 Soire Bikini Color: Sand, Size: L $18.00

$36.00

Cosabella Soire Bikini 2 Soire Bikini Color: Nude, Size: L $18.00

$36.00

Cosabella Soire Bikini 2 Soire Bikini Color: Black, Size: L $18.00

$36.00

Tax 0.00

Total $126.00

I respond to the email and tell them that it is not I who has ordered these panties and they have sent this receipt to the wrong email address.

They email me back saying that it is my email address that they have on file.

I email them back and tell them that the email address they have on file is incorrect.

They email me back that they double checked it and the person who ordered the panties used my email address.

I tell them it is an error.

They write me back and say okay. Then add “could you please clarify to whom this should really be going to, that would be great!"

“FYI - This order will go out next week.”

FYI to them: This order should be going to someone who has a large ass.

And you informed me about shipping because…?

Like I care? It implies they think I am joshing with them. That I have placed an order and for some reason, want them to believe they sent it to the wrong person. That I have inside information about who really did place the order that I’m keeping secret.

How many times and in how many ways do I say they have the wrong email address before they catch on?

I should take a picture of my ass and send it to them so they’d see Large Panties would fall down to my knees!

Maybe then they’d believe me when I say they have the wrong email address.


Friday, June 02, 2006

Dear Search-Word Visitors,

It never ceases to amaze me why you come here; what you are searching for and how bizzare many of the searches are.

You have an obsession with girdles. I get hits daily on girdles. I am sorry I have no sexy pictures or erotica about girdles to make your heart sing. I only wrote a post about Grandma that had the word girdle in it. How disappointing it must be for you to be led to that journal entry. No wonder why you fly off my blog and onto the girdle on the next blog. I know, I know, you search for rubber girdles. Rubber is very important to you. Do you ever stop to wonder why you find this so interesting? I do.

I wrote about bug bites that seemed to pop up overnight. I asked, who else gets odd bug bites? I didn't get many answers at all. But, re: search words: bug bites are consistent hits, ten to twenty a day. Many people want to know all about Noseeums. So I know I'm not alone in bug bites or Noseeums. Good, let's all scratch together.

Elective amputation is another routine search. I wrote about that so long ago I can't remember. But your interest in such a bizarre idea worries me. Amputation is a biggie. Maybe today you'd like to get rid of your leg, arm or finger, but what about ten years from now? They don't grow back. I suggest a different hobby or a substitution for your fetish...can't you grow roses or become a cartoonist instead? I worry about you.

Grandma having sex with (fill in the blank). Why do you want to see pictures or read stories about Grandma having sex? This is another odd compulsion you might think about replacing with a good compulsion, like flossing. Try flossing instead. You'll feel better when you are alone with yourself at night and it's very quiet and you get that urge.

Lewis the cat is another top search string. I hope all Lewis lovers will write their congresspersons in support of Lewis. I have received a few visitors who wanted to know: Does Lewis have his balls? I believe Lewis does not have his balls. Thanks for asking.

Exploding glass is apparently a big problem not only in the US but in just about every country including Fiji. Hey Fiji visitor, it was cool to see that country pop up on my stats. Thanks. I always wanted to go to Fiji but now that I know your glass explodes too, I guess I'll stay home. It's obvious to me that there are inherent problems with safety glass and maybe non safety glass is actually safer because it doesn't explode. I'm sorry for everyone who's had exploding oven doors, stereo cabinet doors, patio table tops, stemware etc. I hope it gives some comfort that it is a top search and happening all over the world.

How to clean GE profile taupe stove grates. Indeed, I hate to have to tell you, I have researched this problem and the answer is you have just spent a shitload of money on a stove you thought would look pretty good if you cleaned it and truth is: you and I are screwed. The taupe color is not suitable for gas ranges. It turns black no matter what you do. If you try too hard to clean it you'll see a silver color. Your stove is going to look crappy until you replace it. Want to start a class action suit? I do. I want my grates to be all black. Let's storm GE headquarters!

And, maybe the top search words ever: Waxing Testicles. I've had the "how to" searches; the "pictures of" searches; the "where do I find someone who will", searches and one "Am I crazy to want to wax my testicles?"

Why ask me? I don't have any. I personally am a natural kind of girl, so how they are is how I personally like them on others, but I'd say it is up to you. Wanting your testicles waxed does not make you crazy, I don't think. I'm not sure the girl at the spa who does bikini waxes will take on testicles, so I suggest you call ahead to make sure.


And thanks for visiting one and all.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Aloha

So Hawaiians want the same status as mainline Indian tribes. (A google search will give you the all the so-called reasoning behind the Akaka bill, but basically it’s a load of kaka which I’ll spare you.)

Taken from Yahoo news, “Akaka's current legislation would grant membership in a new Native Hawaiian "tribe" to anyone who can trace their ancestry to "the aboriginal, indigenous, native people" living in Hawaii "on or before January 1, 1893."

“You also qualify if your ancestors were eligible in 1921 for largesse from the Hawaiian Homes Commission Act, which stipulated at least one-half Native Hawaiian blood.”

Why such hula hoopla?

How many individual sovereign states can we possible have within the United States? Why do we have to apologize to Hawaiians? What for? (I’ve always thought they were pretty damn lucky to live in paradise.) Is this another casino driven, hurt feelings, racial separating law? Do they want to sell cheap cigarettes too?

What the heck is going on here? If Hawaii doesn’t like belonging to the US then why doesn’t it go back to its previous life – I don’t think we have to round off states to 50 – Forty-nine states sounds okay to me.

I like pineapples and leis and Hawaii in general, but this new legislation is silly.

I’m sick of all the sub-groups and special folk who want to turn a good old cast iron melting pot into a mosaic of individual tribes and sects.

And if we need to apologize to Hawaiians, we need to apologize to Bridget Conroy’s family too.

She was sent here to the US to work as a cook ( high up on the servant status) , but was labeled a dirty Irishwoman because old Typhoid Mary was spreading the disease through cooking and she also was from Ireland.

So my poor ancestor Bridget had to work as a laundress instead ( low end of servant status) --because of her ethnic background and where she settled: New York.

They didn’t want any more Typhoid spread you see.

So, does New York owe me something or do I owe Hawaii something?

Good thing Aloha means both hello AND goodbye.